Playstation Plus: Is It Worth the Money? -Weeks 6 &7

Sigh. Oh Sony. Just when we all think you finally have your act together, you reveal that it was a single solitary moment of lucidity before you plunge back down to your usual level of syphilitic insanity. Two weeks ago, I praised Sony for FINALLY getting Playstation Plus right after four straight weeks of being a middle finger to gamers the world over. Third rate titles, insulting “deals” and overall providing a service that was nothing more than a way to fleece some cash out of the last few people that actually believe in your product.

So of course the very next week Sony announces that Playstation Plus will go bi-monthly and so now instead of getting mediocre games and lame themes to download on a weekly basis, you will still be getting the same lack of quality products that you exchanged hard earned money for, but you will be getting LESS OF THEM. Note to Sony -giving us crap fortnightly instead of weekly isn’t improving things; it’s actually fleecing your customers even more.

Then as a final act of cruelty to Playstation Plus purchasers, they were giving a single deal in week 6: an extra discount on Wakeboarding HD. Jesus. At this rate PS+ should just be renamed to “Crappy Discounts on Crappy Racing Games.”

This of course brings us to Week 7 of Playstation Plus and just when you thought Sony couldn’t get any crappier, they surprise us all by giving us the worst selection yet. With this week’s edition, we’ll be continuing with the same format. We’ll take a quick look at the Playstation Plus lineup for this week and then break it down into six categories:

1. Already own, but would have purchased without PSPlus if I hadn’t.

2. Already own, but regret purchasing.

3. Don’t own, but would have purchased w/out PSPlus.

4. Wouldn’t have purchased, but downloaded due to PSPlus.

5. Wouldn’t bother downloading this regardless.

6. Discount isn’t enough to make me pull the trigger.

So there we go. Six possible categories each PSPlus item can fall under. Then at the end of the column we’ll see if I got my $3.33 for the mouth out of it.

Playstation Plus Downloads for the Week of August 10th

Qore Episode 27: August 2010 (Free to PlayStation Plus Subscribers, regular price $2.99)

Red Faction Guerrilla Game Trial (Free and Exclusive to PlayStation Plus Subscribers)

PixelJunk Racers 2nd Lap (Early Access for PlayStation Plus Subscribers; PlayStation Plus price $5.24, regular price $6.99)

High Velocity Bowling (PlayStation Plus price $5.00, regular price $9.99)

WipEout Fury DLC (PlayStation Plus price $7.99, regular price $9.99)

UNCHARTED Eye of Indra Comic Bundle (PlayStation Plus price $1.25, regular price $2.49)

Aero Racer – Minis (Free to PlayStation Plus Subscribers; Regular Price 2.99)

Nebula Tunnels Theme (Free to PlayStation Plus Subscribers, Regular Price 1.49)

Yes, I know. It is pretty crappy, but we need to go through the format if only for professionalism’s sake. Let’s take a look where everything falls.

1. Already own, but would have purchased without PSPlus if I hadn’t.

Ha ha ha. Nothing. That’s because I own quality downloads from the PSN Store and quality appears to be an alien concept in the world of Playstation Plus!

2. Already own, but regret purchasing.

Nothing. See my snarky comments above.

3. Don’t own, but would have purchased w/out PSPlus.

Again, nothing. Like I said, this is a BAD BAD WEEK.

4. Wouldn’t have purchased, but downloaded due to PSPlus.

Qore Episode 27: August 2010 -Look, I don’t get Qore. I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would purchase a subscription to something that is little more than a collection of commercials for Sony by Sony. Would you pay $19.99 a year to be able to download Coca-Cola commercials or a monthly fee to download movie trailers? Only if you’re a complete moron. So why would you do the same thing with Qore? This is the age of the internet. You can get news and video footage for free. If you want clueless hipsters talking about a product in a way that makes you embarrassed to be a fan of said product or fandom, that’s what the internet is for too. Plus, you have to keep in mind that not only are you paying for these commercials and product placement but it’s insidiously designed to look like third rate journalism. Does anyone think Sony’s going to feature a product on Qore and not talk it up like it’s Shangra-La? Does anyone think Sony is going to say, “Well, damn! That was pretty awful. Don’t buy this game for our system and thus keep us from getting our cut from this awful product.” No, they’re going to say “Kane and Lynch 2 is awesome! You should buy it. Look how great it is. What are you talking about? There was no controversy about the first game and it certainly wasn’t awful. BUY BUY BUY! NOW NOW NOW!”

Honestly, if you purchase Qore, than you deserve to be ridiculed by your peers and have rotten vegetables and fecal matter thrown at you as you slink down the street in shame. At least through Playstation Plus, you’re getting it for “free.” Wow. Is that a Splatterhouse theme and a video game demo I get too? Gee willikers. Well that just makes it all better doesn’t it?

Aero Racer – Minis – Holy shit was this bad. If you know me, I try to rarely if ever use strong profanity in my writing because I find it unprofessional, but Playstation Plus has been so bad I find it almost impossible not to curse at least once in these columns. Aero Racer earns this week’s bit of pottu mouth because it is so unbelievably bad I was kind of shocked it was allowed to be sold on the PSN Store. Seriously, this is one of the worst racing games I have ever played. And it’s more racing game crap! What is with the majority of free games on PS+ being racing games? There are other genres out there Sony!

5. Wouldn’t bother downloading this regardless.

Red Faction Guerrilla Game Trial – Look, Red Faction: Guerrilla isn’t a bad game. In fact last year our own A.J. Hess gave it an immensely positive review. No, my problem is that Sony somehow thinks it is doing Playstation Plus fans some sort of magical treat by giving you a sixty minute trial of the game. This of course is next to nothing but the open cinematics and a scant few minutes of play time. It’s arguably shorter than a regular demo. Then add in the fact that said “trial” involves downloading a full 6GB game, and you will be spending more time downloading than playing your precious trial. What the hell Sony? I’m not sure if you think gamers are all idiots or the people you have working on Playstation Plus are just morons, but this has no logic or even sanity behind it.

PixelJunk Racers 2nd Lap. Ugh. Another Racing game. Wowee. I can save less than two dollars on something I wouldn’t enjoy anyway. Again, what is it with Sony and pushing racing games down the throats of people. If I wanted to drive something, I have an actual vehicle for that.

High Velocity Bowling. Wow. Half off a bowling game. Again, if I wanted to bowl I would actually go do it. Even if I did want to play virtual bowling I could get out my copy of Wii Sports which was FREE with my Nintendo Wii and would be a far superior choice to this. Half off a pile of botulism doesn’t change the fact that it is still botulism.

WipEout Fury DLC. This makes me angry. Very angry. Why? Because you have to look at it from the insidious minds of whoever is putting PSPlus together. First, you offer a game for free on PSPlus, that is no longer yours if you leave the service. Then they offer a slightly discounted edition of the DLC. If you actually liked WipEout Fury (God help you), and you were stupid Sony imagines your thought process to be, “Oh, I’m going to get the DLC for this since it’s on sale and I already have the game for free. Have my money evil tyrannical corporate overlords!” In truth, as you are only renting WipEout, you are buying DLC that you can no longer use once you leave PSPlus, or it is discontinued (As it should be, since it sucks ass) leave you with $8 worth of content that you can no longer use unless you actually purchase WipEout. So that two dollars or so in savings actually involves you paying $50 for PSPlus, $8 for the DLC and then another $20 for WipEout when you leave the service. That’s nearly $80 for something that would cost you $30 if you didn’t have PSPlus, or more than double the cost of the game. THIS is why Sony and its horrible PSPlus product are evil.

UNCHARTED Eye of Indra Comic Bundle – Really, Sony? Half off some crappy motion comics is supposed to be some sort of deal or treat? Screw you.

Nebula Tunnels Theme – Yay! Another free ugly theme. Thanks Sony! It’s great to see you want to provide games with repulsive visuals to stare at. You really care about your end consumers!

6. Discount isn’t enough to make me pull the trigger.

Nothing. Considering everything here was god awful to terrible, even being free wasn’t enough to get me to download some of this week’s horrible offerings. That should tell you something!

So there you go. I downloaded $5.98 worth of products this week, bringing my grand PS+ download total to $63.88. That’s more than the 15 month subscription cost for the service, but when you consider that out of all of that, they only thing I downloaded that I kept or bought was Hamster Ball, that tells you the actual quality of the service and the products offers. Seriously, HAMSTER BALL. That’s just sad.

So one week out of seven so far puts Sony at a pathetic .142 batting average. If this was baseball, they’d be down in AAA in the blink of an eye after this horrible performance. People, if you haven’t purchased Playstation Plus than for all that is holy, or even unholy, don’t buy this horrible “service.” It’s insulting at best and a complete and utter lack of respect for you as a Sony Playstation 3 owner from the company that you already forked out a few hundred dollars to already. If you have purchased it, then I feel your pain, but at least my purchase was a tax write off – what’s YOUR excuse?


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