Virtual Console Wrap-up – 11/24

It’s time once again for us here at DHGF to see what Nintendo has in store for us on the Virtual Console. This week, they certainly picked a winner with Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure!! And let’s see what DHGF thinks of this one!

Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure
Developer: Interplay
Publisher: Interplay
System: Sega Genesis
Original Release Date: 1995
Price: 800 Wii Points

Alex Lucard: Fuck you Nintendo. Fuck you. Europe gets Castlevania III and Phantasy Star IV? Fuck you. We get Boogerman? FUCK YOU.

Christopher Bowen: Castlevania III – WOW. Here’s a treat.

I’ve always maintained that despite the time-testedness of the first one, the cool Mode 7 effects of Super Castlevania, or the timelessness of Symphony of the Night, Castlevania III was my personal favourite – not necessarily the best, but my favourite – Castlevania game. To me, it was the perfect culmination of the series – much better than Bloodlines, at any rate, which felt like a cash-in – and added in a mechanic (the secondary character) that I adored. That, and a terrific soundtrack. Bravo.

It’d be better if this was the Japanese version, which had a better soundtrack (due to the Famicom’s additional sound channels) and a more realistic difficulty level, but the US version is still very nice, and absolutely recommended for your $5.

Phantasy Star IV – Did God decide I needed to have a terrific week? Did He look down upon me and say “Bless this wonderful child! Give him Phantasy Star IV and Castlevania III on the same day!”? That’s the only explanation.

Phantasy Star IV came out in 1994. It was, if I remember right, $70. It was worth every penny. It was developed with the Sega CD in mind, and it shows in the way the story is told, though to be honest, I’m kinda glad that it stayed on the Genesis; I can see the cutout scenes in this game being replaced by grainy anime on the Sega CD, and the way the story was told in the real version is preferable, and stands up better to time. But once you get past that, the character development is spotless, the story is told beautifully, the music is perfect, the battle system is the pinnacle of turn-based combat, the story was gut-wrenching at times, and best of all, it’s the perfect way to end the quadrillogy. Squeenix, pay attention.

I wholeheartedly recommend Phantasy Star IV for anyone that doesn’t have the Genesis Collection on the PS2 or PSP. If I knew in 1994 that I’d eventually be able to buy this game for $8 in 2008… I’d STILL spend the initial $70. Phantasy Star IV is one of the greatest RPGs of all time.

Wait, we’re not getting those games? Europe is? That’s OK! Like Edge and Christian, I can pretend to be “Totally Euro”, right?

… No? We’re getting a different game, whether we like it or not? What’s that game, then?

Boogerman – … You’re kidding me. You’re fucking kidding me.

See, it’s not just the fact that we’re getting a game I mentioned in the same breath as Earthworm Jim as being gregariously overrated (and I think more people will agree with me on this one), and we’re not getting Phantasy Star IV or Castlevania III; I know we’ll get those games eventually. But what this tells me is just what Nintendo thinks of the American market. How does this not scream “the Americans are stupid! Give them the snot game, they can’t handle Phantasy Star IV!”? The ONLY thing – repeat, ONLY thing – I can think is that they don’t want one seminal RPG (PSIV) to go against another seminal RPG (Chrono Trigger DS drops tomorrow); that’s the only thing that makes sense in my pitiful little head. So if PSIV at least drops next week on the VC, then my anger won’t be so misplaced.

As it stands now? I can’t help but feel insulted. For those that actually care about what this game is about, it’s a platforming shooter where your bullets are boogers. Get that!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… ha… oh fuck, sorry, I stopped thinking my boogers were funny when I had my ninth birthday party. It’s not very good – Earthworm Jim is better, and I didn’t like Earthworm Jim – and is really only for people to buy who had fond memories of their youth, before they look back and go “yeah… uh, nostalgia kinda sucks…”.

Now do you, Mister and Missus Reader, understand why Alex and I are foaming at the mouth? It’s not just the game, it’s the principle.

Charlie Marsh: I don’t know what you guys are talking about, I liked Boogerman. Is it a classic? Not even close. Sure it’s dirty and disgusting and juvenile and plenty of other adjectives I can throw at it, but it’s just fun. It’s a simple little platformer, with its own unique little charms (by which I mean fart jokes (everyone loves fart jokes)). As for Europe, hey, they get shit on constantly as far as video game releases…let’s give them this one advantage, eh?

Guy Desmarais: While I can understand why my colleagues are currently going completely insane, I will try to be the calm, soothing voice in this crazy, expletive-filled column.

First of all, Boogerman is a platformer that involves farting, belching and flicking your snot to enemies in order to save the day. It is far from being a highlight of the genre, and I cannot, under any circumstance, recommend it to our readers. Platform games have always been my favorite genre, and even I cannot stand this green-clothed mess of a character. Earthworm Jim, released recently, is a far superior game that is actually clever in its humour. Sure, some people might think it’s overrated, but I think it is charming and fun.

As for the fact that Europe gets two awesome games and we only get the nose-picking guy… well, it’s not like I had any money to spare this week anyway. For those who actually had the budget to afford these two fantastic games… it sucks. Better luck next time?

Bryan Berg: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Nathan Birch: Tee hee! HE’S GOT A FART ATTACK!!! Heeheehee. Oh for the days when jokes about snot passed for edgy. This game actually isn’t bad and…wait what? Europe gets Phantasy Star IV?

I can’t even look at you anymore Boogerman.

Aileen Coe: When I first saw, two thoughts popped up in my mind: “Is this an early April Fools joke?” and “Man, I guess Nintendo’s demonstrating some equal opportunity screwing, considering how often Europe gets the shaft.”

The only good thing I can say about this game is that it controls fairly smoothly, moreso than Earthworm Jim. Toilet humor, like most types of humor, can be hilarious if executed properly (the aforementioned Earthworm Jim is an example of this) and with the right audience. In this case, the booger-as-a-weapon gimmick, constant farting noises, and everything else associated with the over the top toilet humor in the game come off as just plain sophomoric and tiresome. I can’t really recommend this, especially in light of what Europe got this week. But if you’re still in the stage where fine tuning your flatulent rendition of the national anthem is a top priority in your life, then…have at, I suppose.

Mark B.: Well, on one hand, I own the Sega Genesis Collection for PSP and PS2, so I don’t miss the omission of Phantasy Star 4, and I prefer the SNES/Genesis classic Castlevania games, so I don’t miss Castlevania 3. On the other, though, Boogerman isn’t a particularly good game.

Look, personality is fine and all, and as Earthworm Jim proves, a LITTLE toilet humor goes a long way, but when your entire gimmick is being gross, you’ve got nothing to say. It’s the difference between playing one level in a mountain of poop versus playing Poopy McPooperson’s Corn-Picking Adventure: the game plays fine, and it still looks decent enough, but it’s literally just one giant body excretion joke.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, if you like Family Guy and Dane Cook, you might like this!

Meanwhile, on Wii Ware this week, we’re getting Boingz, which looks like an interesting puzzle-platform game, and Sudoku Challenge, which looks like Sudoku. And there you go. Hopefully next week’s releases will elicit a tamer reaction from us than Boogerman.

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