10 Thoughts On… The Tester (Season 3, Episode 5)

Welcome to my thoughts on the fifth episode of The Tester. Last week we had another double elimination, bringing us down to six members left. We’re already halfway through the contestants, and the competition is going to change drastically.

On a personal note, I said goodbye to my PS3 this week, as it decided it just didn’t want to live anymore. May I request a moment of silence?

Thanks. Now let’s get to the show!

1. We start off with Kwajamonster and Krysti crying in the loft. Apparently this elimination was tough for them. Kwaja especially seems to think that J-Tight and Ninja worked their asses off and didn’t deserve to go. I’m actually shocked that a female would be sticking up for Ninja. Could it be he isn’t nearly as creepy as he was edited to be? Anyways, she said she needs to step up her game. I’m actually at a loss for words as to what, if anything, she’s done in the show period. This is probably the most we’ve heard from her.

2. Less than five minutes in, and the contestants are already being put into teams. They get a message telling them to split themselves into three teams of two for an obvious God of War themed challenge. The teams are D1ddy with Akilleez, Suz with Reality, and Kwaja with Krysti. They get a bunch of togas to compete in, which leads to speculation about whether or not the challenge will be physical. “How often do you see someone fight in a toga?” had to be my favorite line there. It also should be noted that none of them knew how to put on a toga. Did none of them go to college?

3. These week’s special guest is Todd Papy. He’s apparently the creative director for God of War 3, and seems to be a pretty big deal over Santa Monica. Obviously, the contestants need to impress this guy, as he is one of the people they’ll be working with. Meredith harps on the fact that he got into the industry as a tester, and he gives a generic speech about doing your best. It should be noted that the challenge is taking place at Santa Monica Beach, with is a “stone’s throw” away from the studio.

4.Today’s challenge will test to see if the contestants have “fast and efficient communication”. Essentially, both members are blindfolded and then given a large area of sand to cover. Strewn throughout are items supposedly inspired by God of War. They need to score matches, and the only way to do that is for both members to hold their hand on an item and place it on a table at the same time. The winners are not automatically safe from elimination, but they do get a hell of a prize. They get to visit Santa Monica Studios, and even get to play an unannounced game that’s still in development! God of War IV anyone? During their trip, the crew there will decide one member to keep safe. That should obviously put that person in the driver’s seat to win the whole thing. Can’t do much better than an endorsement from a potential employer.

5. D1ddy and Akilleez start things off. For some reason, they take a confessional by D1ddy and turn it into a bizarre trip, including adding a third eye onto his forehead. This is just silly and weird. Anyways, the boys communicate quite well with each other, and make five matches in the allotted time. Next up are the girls. Kwaja does plain awful. She stays on the outside the entire time and moves slowly. For most of the time the only item in her hand was a twig she picked up. This led to a hilarious bit where they try to match up two “sticks”. Kwaja has an actual stick, whereas Krysti has a freaking trident. On a side note, what the hell does a stuffed duck have to do with God of War? They manage two whole matches. Last up is Suz and Reality. Suz’s idea of communication is to yell like a crazy person. Even still, they do good until the end, when Reality can’t find a bottle of olive oil he put down for safe keeping earlier. He left the bottle on the table, but ends up spending the rest of the challenge looking for it on the ground and getting panicked. Brent Gocke is shown to be trying to hold back laughter, and I can’t blame him. Despite this setback, they manage four matches.

6. So Akilleez and D1ddy have won and get to go to Santa Monica! Here comes the big twist. They get to choose one other person to bring with them. Each is given a chance to state their case. The girls give off generic speeches about working hard and doing well in previous challenges. Reality suggests they take him simply because he’s a guy and this is part of the “guy code”. You can see the annoyance on the faces of the judges. That was really a bonehead move. The guys secretly confer, and decide to take Krysti because they feel she’ll make the worst impression and therefore not get picked for immunity.

7. At the studio, the three get to meet a bunch of staff, including a couple of “combat experts”, which only furthers my opinion that they’re working on a new God of War. After some pleasantries, they get to playing the new game. However, the screen is blanked out, and no one is allowed to say what they’re playing. Well that sucked? What was the point of having them tell us how awesome the game was if we don’t get to see it? It’s not like anyone is going to look back months later and say “Well the guys on The Tester said it was good. It must be!”. Back at the loft, Kwaja is sad once again. This time it’s simply because Krysti went away for a day. Oh boy. Reality is also down in the dumps, which leads Suz to try and cheer him up with the giant Sackboy doll. He is not amused. I thought it was kind of cute though.

8. Back at Sony Santa Monica, they take the contestants one at a time for interviews to decide who gets immunity as well as to gauge how good a worker they will be. This is yet another reason it was deathly important to win this challenge. Akilleez does well and seems like a really competent young man. D1ddy gets too excited and starts talking about ideas exploding out of his brain. He also wants to be an artist, but admits to not being able to even draw. That can’t look good. Krysti does pretty good as well, with talks of becoming a writer. She and Akilleez are the clear front runners for the immunity.

9. When they get back, they try playing it cool, but eventually start flipping out about how awesome the trip was. This is something I’d have to forgive them for, as I’d be doing the same damned thing. Kwaja is once again the focus, saying she’s packed her bags and she’s ready to go. Her only defense seems to be that she was on the winning team for each previous challenge. It seems she doesn’t remember what happened to last week. One screw up is all it takes. I should mention that this episode, she’s gotten more screen time than the rest of the season combined. That’s either a very good or a very bad sign.

10. Time for elimination! First off, Akilleez is awarded immunity for impressing the Santa Monica crew. This clearly puts him as the front runner to win the whole thing. The judges start into Reality for the whole guy code thing. He seems shocked, as if he never considered that this would be a problem. Kwaja steps up and admits to being the downfall of her team. She’s clearly trying to win favor by avoiding the mistakes of Asuukaa earlier in the season. It isn’t long before she’s in tears again. Oh boy. It seems the judges have decided that either Reality or Kwaja will go, as no other member of the cast is shown to be criticized. They say that Reality is immature and is not making a great impression. Everybody jumps on him after that, clearly trying to eliminate him and look good in front of the judges. Suz say she wants him gone because he is tough competition. This is probably because she wants to keep him around, and figures saying how great he is will go a long way. He sure seems appreciative. In the end, Kwaja is cut for being the worst performer in the challenge. This is probably the best choice, as she really hasn’t been doing anything of note. Meredith closes things out with a really stupid line. “Who has powered up and who is running low on lives?” WOW.

Next Week: With five people left, the individual challenges begin. Contestants will be answering surveys about who doesn’t deserve to be there. They all pick Suz! This should be interesting!

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