OK. So we’re back with yet another episode of The Tester Season 3. Two contestants are gone and ten remain to compete for the price of a job as “production associate” for Santa Monica Studios. There, they’ll be working on a AAA PS3 title that is all but assured to be God of War IV.
Last week, Asuukaa got canned for not owning up to her part in her team’s loss, while the judges let Suzkaiden stay thanks to her “passion”Â. Alliances were formed, people dressed up like clowns, and copies of Twisted Metal were given out. Make sure you check out my review here on the site.
Anyways, let’s get down to the most recent episode.
1. We start off with reflections on last week. Krsyti and Burn make the very valid point that the judges only see the contestants for a couple of hours each day during challenges and eliminations. As such, they don’t see how people act normally. Suzkaiden is clearly not all there emotionally, but it comes off as passion during challenges. The others just seem like whiny bitches by comparison. This is pretty much what I said last week. Validation!
2. Reality seems to have remembered he made an alliance with Suz. They conspire together to start coming up with a potential third member. Suz suggests someone weak that they could easily beat in the finals. This is amusing, because SHE is that person for Reality. I almost imagine the guy trying not to burst out laughing. I wouldn’t have been able to contain myself.
3. The contestants are split into teams again, though it is done for them, and there are no picks. They dress up in camo and face paint for the obvious Uncharted: Golden Abyss themed challenge. When they get there, Meredith calls Uncharted the “ultimate action adventure game”Â. This is a complete load of crap. Sadly, many people will disagree with me on that point. This is why we can’t have nice things.
4. This week’s special guest is John Garvin from Bend Studios. For those unfamiliar, they are the development team behind Syphon Filter and Resistance Retribution. John seems legitimately excited to be on the show, if only because his small development team is finally getting some much deserved attention. These guys made shooters playable on the PSP. They deserve a freaking medal (let’s just forget they also made Bubsy 3D).
5. The challenge is an obstacle course where members of each team must make there way through while carrying cantaloupes. These melons are then going to be shot at targets via a slingshot. The first team up consists of Ninja, Akilleez, Burn, Suz, and Egoraptor. They are the tan team. Akilleez, being the muscle bound dude he is, suggests that he carry the most melons, and sends off Burn with none. The judges immediately take note of this. All kinds of things go wrong. Ninja nearly has a heart attack because it has been so long since he has exercised, Suz hits a target but keeps shooting, even though each player is supposed to do one only. Burn can’t hit worth a damn, and Ego goes after ammo and misses everything. They still manage to finish. The black team, consisting of D1ddy, J-Tight, Kwaja, Reality, and Krysti, are up next (funny how both black guys ended up on the black team). They have the same troubles with the slingshot, but the real problem is Krysti. She doesn’t even make it through the course until after everyone else has made their shots. They have to go running back for her. Luckily for her, the tan team’s myriad of mistakes help the black team win by over a minute. What a mess.
6. When they get back, Akilleez sets his team down for a pow wow. They all pretty much agree that no one person is to blame for the loss, though Burn and Suz are quick to throw little quips at each other. They are the clear candidates for eliminations, though. Both were on the losing end of last week’s challenge, made huge mistakes, and cost a lot of time.
7. Oh yeah. The prize for the winners was an autographed copy of “Drake’s Journal” and a visit from the author, Mr. Nolan North. He shows up, gets a running hug from J-Tight, and takes the black team away for a chat. He also admitted that he doesn’t do anything to his voice in order to play Nathan Drake. The same can be said for many of his characters. He tries to inspire them with talks of PAs moving up to bigger and better jobs. Then he does something to make up for all of the boring. He drops off three Vitas, each with Golden Abyss loaded onto them. If these are the standard 4GB memory cards, that that game nearly fills it up completely. The next several minutes are spent on showing how awesome the game is. It’s practically a commercial, which is a tad annoying. Part of that whole “shameless self promotion” thing.
8. After that, the girls get down to talking. Well, all the girls except for the much hated Suzkaiden. Burn plans to go right after Suz in the elimination, and the two others pledge to do the same. This is how they got rid of Big Fazeek last season, so it could work. However, Burn admits in private that she doesn’t quite trust the others to speak up. Smart girl.
9. Finally at elimination time, and Akilleez starts off with his whole “we did good’ speech. Five seconds later, and Burn immediately starts tearing into Suz for her mistakes. Suz replies in kind, much to the chagrin of the other team members. Adrianne rightly points out that Burn was chosen to be dead weight for her team for the second straight week. The judges then make a surprising turn and go after Egoraptor. They say that since he finished the slingshot portion so easily, that he should have stayed behind to help the others. That’s somewhat understandable, but going back for ammo was also a team move, so I don’t agree with the persecution. Kwaja and Krysti step up to denounce Suz, claiming that she’s on the show for attention, and that her passion is misplaced. Reality, in a move I didn’t see coming, actually backs up Suz up, meaning that the alliance is on! The judges make the call. 
Egoraptor is dropped for losing three straight and not helping the others with the slingshot. This was a really stupid call. I’m no fan, but the guy was not the reason the team lost either of the past two weeks. They aren’t done there. They then decide to drop Burn because she was dead weight. Suz is once again spared, though they give her a warning. I understand cutting Burn, but Ego should have stayed over Suz.
10. If you’re keeping count, that’s three episodes in a row where a female has been eliminated. Of the eight remaining, three are women, and five are men. Interesting. I wonder if we’ll get the same result as the past two season: two male and one female finalists. They do seem to almost aim for that.
Next week, the teams get to play Street Fighter X Tekken! I wonder if Fat Mega Man will make an appearance? They’ll also be doing some amusing looking fight choreography, so there will be plenty of physical comedy to look forward to. Come back next week for my thoughts!
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