Preview: Elf Bowling 1 & 2 (GBA/DS)

Genre: Arcade
Platform: GBA/DS
Publisher: Ignition Entertainment, Inc.
Developer: NStorm/Black Lantern Studios, Inc.
Release Date: November 2005

Santa’s elves have gone on strike, and it’s up to you to teach them a lesson…by mowing them down with bowling balls! Sound strange? That’s because it is. Ignition Entertainment’s taken two classic PC freeware games, Elf Bowling and Elf Bowling 2: Elves in Paradise, and packed them into the GBA and DS compilation Elf Bowling 1 & 2 just in time for the holidays.

Elf Bowling is relatively straightforward; as Santa Claus, you bowl just as your normally would, but with elves as the pins. The elves are part of a union, of course, and they’re sick and tired of the horrible treatment up at the North Pole. They’ll do everything in their power to taunt you; holding up “Santa Sux!” signs, dancing around, and even mooning you. After all…what’s more insulting than elf cornhole? Yuck. So, put the little punks in place by running them down! Points are scored just like in a normal game of bowling, and you can even make use of bad throws and gutter balls. See, sometimes reindeer will appear on the side of the alley, and with a well-aimed “bad” throw, you can clown them in the head with your ball. PETA may hate that, but it’s actually quite funny.

Elf Bowling 2: Elves in Paradise ups the ante a bit. Here, instead of hanging around the North Pole, Santa joins his brother Dingle Kringle (who runs a “used ice” business) on a tropical cruise. Those annoying elves are along for the ride, and this time, you get to play shuffleboard with them…using them as the pucks, of course. The pointy-eared midgets run around in Speedos, and you launch them across the shuffleboard by snapping their bathing suits like a rubber band (just in case the first game didn’t give you enough shots of elf ass).

This wouldn’t be a complete preview without some screenshots, rights? Here’s a few from both the GBA and DS versions. As you can see, the GBA is forced to split the screen vertically, while the DS will use both screens as well as the stylus for more accurate control. In addition, you can view a trailer of the game here (right-click to download); it’s a 12.5MB download, and you’ll need Windows Media Player in order to view it.

Elf Bowling 1 & 2 will be out this November, so fans of quick action games may want to check it out.