The Angry Gamer – Ruining Our Heroes

What is it with video games that crap all over our favorite heroes and villains, be it comic book supermen, gaming icons, or literary legends? There seems to have been a rash of them lately. Dance Dance Revolution with Mario. Metroid Pinball. Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (that one’s made by EA, so of course it’s going to be shit).

Now, putting characters into different genres than the ones they started in is nothing new (look at the obscene amount of Mario sports titles). But there’s lines that shouldn’t be crossed. C’mon…Samus Aran as a damn pinball?! If she was a real person, she’d be shoving a super missile up Nintendo’s ass right about now. Mario dancing around like a fruit? Is that really necessary?

Even in the past, such experiments were attempted…but they died a horrible death, and rightfully stayed that way. Mega Man Soccer. Mario is Missing. Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine. (The title alone makes me retch.) Since those failed so miserably, the powers-that-be smartly left them alone and didn’t bother trying again.

That’s what we need now. Don’t put superheroes in yet another subpar fighting game. Don’t turn bounty hunters into projectiles. And never, ever let fat Italian plumbers dance.