The Angry Gamer 09.02.04 – Gaming Infidelity

Finishing off last week’s complaint…MORE digital chicks are going to be showing up alongside that BloodRayne Playboy spread, though they won’t be nekkid. The spread will also feature Nina (Tekken), Mileena (Mortal Kombat), Luba Licious (Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude), Tala (Darkwatch), and the Kurenai (Red Ninja: End of Honor). Good God, this shit makes my head want to split open. Casual gamers are such f*cking losers to actually want this shit, and the developers are just as low to actually produce it.

On to the task at hand. Today, we’re going to examine a facet of video games that’s been around since the pastime began: cheating. Be it a classic Pac-Man arcade game, orSuper Mario Bros. 3, or a modern 3D shooter, or your girlfriend, people always find ways to cheat. Even if the game doesn’t have built-in cheat codes (as many do these days), external devices such as the Gameshark allow players to “hack” their games to get the desired effect, be it invincibility, infinite ammo, and so on.

Back in the day, built-in cheats were relatively rare, or they had weird effects, like the infamous Mega Man 3 “super-jump” cheat. This enabled a player to jump almost the height of the screen, not to mention you’d be invincible and the background music would cut out. A far cry from the simple “god mode” codes of later years, that’s for sure. Other famous codes included the “Konami code,” used in titles like Contra, LifeForce, and plenty more. Rather than invincibility, these just gave you 30 lives.

Nowadays, you’re hard pressed to find games that don’t have some kind of cheats available quickly and easily. It’s pretty sad that developers preload their games with cheat codes. Why? Because too many gamers use them right off the bat, and don’t appreciate the game itself. If you’re going to throw in cheat codes to make the game easier, then just make the game easier to begin with; here on the Information Superhighway, people often have all the cheats printed out before a game is even released! Games as a whole today are incredibly easy compared to the games of the past, but I refuse to believe that game fanatics’ IQs have dropped so sharply that easy games are necessary. I guess it’s wishful thinking, but let me enjoy my fantasy world, dammit.

Do cheats have a good side? I suppose. Personally, I’d only use cheats after I’ve completed a game, just for laughs. Going back through stages you originally had all manner of trouble with, but using a code to tear through them? That’s always amusing. But c’mon…using cheats from the get-go? Ridiculous.