411MAX: News News Revolution 3.12.04

Hey, everyone! I’m back!

*crickets chirping*

(Ahem) Anyway, for the confused, I’m back after taking a week off. And by a “week off”, I mean not doing the news and focus on the Hints Board and write some reviews. Yes, my “weeks off” still involve me contributing things to the site. This means I’m either very committed to the site, or I have no clue as to what a “week off” actually constitutes. I leave that decision up to you guys. (I may even run a poll as to what you may think! YEAH!)

To start things off, I want to give a gigantic “thank you” to Chuck Platt for taking care of the Friday news report. You can find your extra points in the usual spot, Chuck. Just don’t tell the others you got treated “special” this week. *wink* *wink*…oh, come on! Not special THAT WAY! PERVERTS!

Next, I’d like to explain why the hell I was out (for those who care). In a nutshell, I was running ragged in college for the past couple of weeks, with assignments piled upon other assignments. Therefore, I ran into “Panic Mode”. For me, “Panic Mode” makes me do odd things, such as develop a brand new life plan for myself and trying to get out of the Business program at Towson University in any way possible. So I took off from the news report in order to consider my options and rethink things in a calmer state. In the end, I realized my panic was just that, panic. That, and I’m dropping one of my five classes in order to increase my sanity and give me more time for the other classes.

Now, for the obligatory “DDR Accomplishments” section. Two weeks ago, I said that I was close to 500 AAAs. Well, that afternoon I surpassed my year-end goal with 502! (At the end of February. I passed my “year-end” goal in February. Let that sink in.) And I did it without relying heavily on the Beginner difficulty! Of course with the goal over, I’ve started systematically going through the Beginner steps in DDR Extreme for new AAAs. So now, I have 550 AAAs. And the scary thing is that while 30+ of the new ones were on Beginner, 10 of them were on Heavy. Thus proving that I can still do amazing things in this game, and I’m so close to even more great accomplishments.

But now comes the part where I impart the important gaming news of the past week and add various quips and jokes to them to make them seem HILARIOUS! Join me, won’t you? ON WITH THE NEWS!

TOP STORY: Dancing Stage Unleashed Song List Confirmed!

The European Bemani game Dancing Stage Unleashed is out NOW for the Euro X-Box! (And if not now, than very soon.) For the curious, here is the song list that you start with:

Call Me
Ebeneezer Good
Heart Of Glass
Jerk It Out
Nu Flow
Saturn 5
Size Of A Cow
Up The Bracket

Konami Originals
Can’t Stop Falling In Love (Speed Mix)
Dive — BeForU —
Electro Tuned (the subs mix)
exotic ethnic
Healing Vision
Infinite Prayer
Keep On Movin’ (DMX Mix)
Kind Lady
La Senorita Virtual
Lets Talk It Over
Look To The Sky (True Color Mix)
Luv To Me (disco mix)
On the Jazz
Paranoia Eternal
Sana Mollete Ne Ente
Secret Rendezvous
Sexy Planet
So in Love
Super Star
Sweet Sweet Love Magic
The Earth Light
There 4 You
Trip Machine (Luv Mix)

Out of respect for those who don’t want spoilers, I won’t post the 9 unlockable songs. However, I WILL say that they are exactly the same as those found in DDR Ultramix. So if you want to know, look up some Ultramix spoilers.

(Credit goes to DDRUK)

Race A Star On X-Box Live TODAY!

Are you reading this report before 2:30 PM PST? You ARE? Great! Then perhaps YOU can take part in this one-in-a-lifetime offer!

Actress Michelle Rodriquez (The Fast & The Furious, Resident Evil) is going to be accepting challenges Project Gotham Racing 2 on X-Box Live today between 2:30-3:30 PM PST today. The catch is, like most promotions of this nature, you have to be invited.

To GET invited, you’ll need to go to the X-Box Live website, copy down her screen name, and add it to your buddy list. If you get invited by her, congratulations! You’ll be able to test your skills against a celebrity!

Lets just hope she got a crash course in the game before being fed to the wolves, eh?

(Credit goes to GameSpy)

Nokia Just Doesn’t Know When To STOP!

Thanks to John Romero (developer of Doom), we have some possible new information on a new N-Gage unit being developed. The supposed new model will be smaller, have a “flip” function, easier cartridge access, and have a phone by the face of the unit, rather than the side.

Something tells me that changing the look of the game/phone/whatever isn’t going to change much. If it carries the same $300 price tag as in the beginning, the same screen size, and the same atrocious battery life, not many of these things will be sold.

Then again, the new model COULD sell double what the original sold! That would make…hmm, let’s see…carry the four…add the cosine…SIX UNITS!

(Credit goes to Spong.com)

All That’s Missing Is The Leather-Bound Manual

Those who know Working Designs know that they go above and beyond the call of duty when they translate games. (Usually this results in catastrophic delays that nearly kill the buzz a game is generating, but that’s another story for another time.) This is VERY evident when looking at the Lunar and Arc The Lad collections that made it to the U.S. All contained hardcover manuals, soundtracks, making-of CDs, and other odds and ends like Lucia’s pendant, the Ghaleon punching puppet, and the Arc pocket watch w/case.

I guess we should all have known that WD would be doing the same with Growlanser: Generations despite early, contrary reports.

It turns out there will be two versions sold when the game is released: the standard edition containing only the game, and the deluxe edition that will contain the following extras:

–A game-themed wristwatch w/case.
–A game-based ring and chain w/pouch
–A deck of Growlanser playing cards
–A soundtrack with 25 arranged themes

No word on price yet, but this stuff looks incredible. I can already see those wondrous trinkets on my Working Designs shelf…right next to my Lunar II standees and Ghaleon punching puppet…mmmmmm…puppet…

(Credit goes to Games Are Fun)

Naughty God President To Step Down

Well it turns out that Jason Rubin, co-founder of the Naughty Dog company, and creator of Crash Bandicoot and Jak & Daxter is announcing that he will be leaving the company after Jak III is finished. Here’s what he had to say on the subject:

“I’m committed to seeing Jak III through completion. I’ve worked extremely hard on it and believe that it’s the best Jak game yet. Beyond that, I’ve made a conscious decision to leave Naughty Dog and explore other options in the gaming sector. The truth is that Naughty Dog is a well-oiled machine–it practically runs itself, I now want to take on new challenges and create something new. I want to refuel my passion for the business of gaming.”

Something tells me he got some major heat after announcing Crash was coming to the N-Gage, so he’s getting out of dodge while the getting’s good.

No, I’m kidding. Co-founder Andy Gavin wishes him well, and what the hell, so do I. Naughty Dog has but out some top-notch titles as of late, and if Rubin wants to recharge his love for the business, he might be the brainchild of some even greater creations down the road. Besides, everyone needs a break every once in a while.

(Credit goes to Games Are Fun)

Another Game Involving The Mob. It’s SURE To Be A Success!

It turns out that Electronic Arts is looking to join the many, many, many, many, MANY mob games already out so far. How are they going about this? Why, by securing the Godfather movie license and basing a game on it!

The interesting thing to look at here is the fact that the game WILL be M-rated, and adult oriented. EA has steered clear of this route for quite sometime. Their past games have been either E or T rated, but hardly (if any) M games.

But to be honest, they’re going to have to make this mob game VERY unique from the others on the market in order to sell well, and even more so considering they are using the Godfather license. Only time will tell, I guess.

(Credit goes to Gamespot)

Max Payne Gets A New Game…In Two Years

Rockstar Games announced that there will be a third installment in the Max Payne series.

And…uh…that’s all I know.

Heck, that’s all ANYONE knows at this point.

That, and it’s going to take a while to develop. Say…two years.

Yep. Two whole years. Uh huh.


Okay, we’re moving on. Stupid awkward silences…

(Credit goes to 1UP.com)


So, with my absence last week, there were no points awarded. Here’s how I’m going to make up for it (and for every time I take a week’s break):

–News reports for the current will be given double points
–Reviews from both weeks get points
–Columns from both weeks get points

So with that out of the way, let’s get to plugging! (No, not that way! PERVERT!)

News You Can Use

411Max: News News RevolutionChuck Platt?!?!?!?!?
Yes, Chuck filled in for me last week. Chuck is a good friend for doing so, and I thank him. Too bad I just found out he’s sick in the head, nearly ELIMINATING his points as we’ll see when I pimp his regular column…*cough* Still, he gets extra points here like I promised.
Reward Points: 250 / Total 1110

Gamer’s Hangover News ReportCory Laflin
Cory is angry. Angry at sports, angry with the staff, and angry at life in general. You know, all Cory needs to do is go back to his DDR Extreme machine and work out his stress by smashing arrows with his feet in quick succession. THAT will alleviate his anger! And by the way, Cory rules for trying out the game despite his initial impressions. You’ll never know how great the game is unless you put your dignity on the back burner for several minutes.
Reward Points 250 / Total: 1325

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Video GamesMisha Surma
I think I jump-started Misha looking at British TV shows thanks to the last plug I gave him. It’s a good thing, though. He’s got some really cool and interesting stuff about British TV that I never knew. Although on the other side of the coin, he got “Patrick Moore Plays The Xylophone” stuck in my head. ARGH! That crafty Englishman!
Reward Points 240 / Total: 980

Mid-Week Mid-Boss News ReportLee Baxley
A bit light on gaming news, but Lee is correct when he says its a big week for anime. The fact that there’s a NEW Tenchi series I never knew about is amazing. But its being dubbed by Funimation, the same people responsible for the poor-quality DBZ dubs… hmmmm…
Reward Points 220 / Total: 1105

Thank God It’s Thursday News ReportBryan Berg
Bryan ends up covering plenty of stuff I’m covering before I knew exactly that he was covering it (if that made any sense at all). But he’s got sole access to the Nintendo DS specs. And he’s VERY close to becoming the first to receive an actual REWARD out of the Kliq Reward Points program!
Reward Points 240 / Total: 1420

Reviews You Can Use

Armed & Dangerous (XB)Cory Laflin
Cory takes a look at one of the more humorous FPS games out there from the creators of Sam & Max. Too bad Sam & Max themselves don’t get a new update as well…
Reward Points: 70 / Total 1395

R-Type Final (PS2)Alex Lucard
Lucard finds a side-scrolling shooter in the wasteland of unoriginal titles and praises it to high heaven. It’s the last game in the R-Type series, and MAN did they add three trillion things to it!
Reward Points: 80 / Total 1205

Metroid: Zero Mission (GBA)Me, Myself, and I
It’s my look at one of the biggest releases this year. Long story short, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Something I can’t say for lots of the other titles out there today.
Reward Points: NA / Total NA

Mega Man Battle Chip Challenge (GBA)Liquidcross
LC looks at this offshoot card battle title so you don’t have to. Well, so I PERSONALLY don’t have to, anyway. I’ll take the other Battle Network games any day, but considering this is STRICTLY card-based, I’ll Bass…er…pass.
Reward Points: 65 / Total 780

Rise To Honor (PS2)Matt Yeager
Matt is slowly but surely becoming a better reviewer, and it shows here. I won’t pick up the game, but read this to see if you might!
Reward Points: 75 / Total 225

Ninja Gaiden (XB)Alex Lucard
It’s a 3D action-platformer that actually DELIVERS on some of the hype? My GOD! Seriously, it looks to be a good game, and I’ll probably rent it for a spin. Yes, friends, a 7.5 means its a GOOD game. Not average. Not BELOW average. Not even ABOVE average. It’s a GOOD game. In fact, it’s half a point away from being GREAT. So stop complaining that we didn’t sell out to anyone and give it a 9.0 because of the name. Games that get those types of scores here EARN them!
Reward Points: 85 / Total 1290

Intellivision Lives! (XB)Me, Myself, and I
When do over sixty of your favorite games become so mind-numbingly frustrating that you grow to hate them? Read on for a perfect example of an occurrence!
Reward Points: NA / Total NA

Columns You Can…uh…Use

Retrograding MailbagAlex Lucard
Lucard answers mail. Lots of mail. More mail than I’ll ever see. NO ONE LOVES ME! MOMMY, WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE ME?!?
Reward Points: 85 / Total 1375

The Angry GamerLiquidcross
Last week’s TAG is…really, really short. But if you’re covering random stuff, I guess there are times where it must be so.
Reward Points: 80 / Total 860

RetrogradingAlex Lucard
Part Five of the Top 30 RPG countdown is here, complete with three games that came out on Sega systems. I wish that I’ve played them, though. But the interesting thing is that with THIS column, Lucard has eclipsed Bryan Berg’s lead! We can attribute this SPECIFICALLY to Lucard writing more stuff.
Reward Points: 110 / Total 1485

A Thumb To The EyeChuck Platt
The man is sick in the head. Yes, it’s true that his writing kicks ass, but he’s just revealed himself to be a member of those “otakukin” freaks. WOW, I’d never expect that from him. I mean, to be a fan of anime, that’s one thing. But to be a fan along the lines of the people I described in my “fanboy” commentary a while back…man Chuck, you need help. You also need to STOP DIGGING UP MY PAST! For crying out loud, I only cosplayed ONE in my life, and you have to blab the actual CHARACTER to al our readers. ARGH! It’s going to be a long chance in HELL before you get points outta me again…
Reward Points: 000!!! / Total 1110

The Angry GamerLiquidcross
This week’s TAG is MUCH better in my opinion. The sole reason for that is that he brings back fond memories of Fester’s Quest to mind. Talk about the obscure and ridiculous right there.
Reward Points: 100 / Total 960


Bebito Jackson
Total: 420

Fredrick Badlissi
Total: 555

Chris Pankonin
Total: 410

Damn, two of our staff members are VERY close to obtaining rewards. (Now I need to make some up…damn…)


And Friday comes to a close YET AGAIN. Of course this means there’s the weekend to look forward to, which rocks.

I hope to stop delaying my commentaries and start writing them again starting next week. Its been a while since I’ve done a fresh one, but school is preventing me from thinking “logical” thoughts about things. Ugh.

So, until next time, laugh at Chuck Platt for his overly weird obsession. He’s the product of when things are taken to far.

Alex Williams, The Norwegian Athlete