Cheat! 09.17.03

Hello, all. Welcome to this week’s Cheat!, complete with my latest attempt at linking! Aren’t you thrilled?

“¦Huh? What’s that? You’ve noticed my teaser, and are confused? Yeah, I’m going to explain that later. But for right now, let’s cut the introduction a bit short and get straight to the good stuff. ON WITH THE CHEATING!

I refuse to list cheats for the X-Box version. Why? Well, uh”¦cause I don’t have any for the X-Box version! Yeah, that won’t raise any suspicion”¦

To activate a Cheat Mode, simply pause the game and press R1, R1, L1, R1, L1, L1, R1, L1, R1, R1, L1, R1, L1, L1, R1, L1. You should be able to access it from the pause menu.

(Credit goes to GameFAQs)

Another game gaining more recognition in this column. Damn, it’s getting harder and harder to find current codes these days”¦

Here is some more detailed info on how to unlock some F-Zero AX racers:

Phoenix/Rainbow Phoenix: Beat Story Mode Mission #1 on Very Hard
Princia Ramode/Spark Moon: Beat Story Mode Mission #2 on Very Hard
QQQ/Rolling Turtle: Beat Story Mode Mission #3 on Very Hard
Don Genie/Fat Shark: Beat Story Mode Mission #4 on Very Hard
Digi Boy/Cosmic Dolphin: Beat Story Mode Mission #5 on Very Hard
Dai Goroh/Silver Rat: Beat Story Mode Mission #6 on Very Hard
Dai & San & Gen/Pink Spider: Beat Story Mode Mission #7 on Very Hard
Lily Flyer/Bunny Flash:Beat Story Mode Mission #8 on Very Hard
PJ/Groovy Taxi: Beat Story Mode Mission #9 on Very Hard
Magic Seagull: Clear All Chapters on Very Hard mode

(Credit goes to GameFAQs)
KINGDOM HEARTS (Playstation 2)

One of the few great Square RPGs, in my opinion. Ignore the Final Fantasy characters, and it becomes REALLY great!

Some may still not know about the secret movie you can get at the end of the game. In order to access it, you’ll need to accomplish the following:

–Seal all the Keyholes, including the Hundred Acre Wood and the Coliseum
–Collect all 99 Dalmatians
–Collect all of Ansem’s reports
–Beat the Hades Cup

(Credit goes to GameFAQs)

Another old game to fill the void of new ones. Not my best column by a long shot. Oy vey.

Here are some secret cheats you can enter in the password screen:

Always Sepcial: i’myellow
Perfect Rail: belikeeric
Perfect Manual: freewheelie
Moon Gravity: moon$hot
”Matrix” Mode: fbiagent

(Credit goes to GameFAQs)
And”¦that’s all I got. Another slow week, another half-assed attempt to fill column space. Which leads perfectly into the commentary”¦

As you may have read in the teaser, this is the final Cheat! column I’m doing. Well, maybe not the FINAL one, but this is the last Cheat! in this current form. Allow me to start from the beginning”¦

When I first got hired onto 411Games, I was a reviewer. And apparently a good one as I got excellent feedback from the other columnists here. The current staple of 411 writers made me feel welcome here, especially Alex Lucard, who had his review of Ikaruga posted the same day as MY review of Ikaruga. Boy, that was a fun and scary coincidence.

After about a month or so of contributing reviews, I wanted to break into the column gig here. The thing was, I never had a good idea for subject matter. Bebito had the rumors covered in his news reports, Lucard covered the obscure, overlooked games, Badlissi covered whatever the hell he wanted so beautifully, and so on, and so forth. I didn’t know if I could come up with something to say every week. And even if I could, I didn’t know if I could pump out quality stuff week after week. I try my damnedest not to half-ass things, no matter how inane.

One day, it hit me: cheat codes! I could gather a bunch of miscellaneous cheat codes together from recently reviewed games, ask for fan support, and slap it together in a weekly column! The “411” doesn’t have a steady codes section right now, so I can cover that ground! Anyway, I put the idea by Vinnie Mac Daddy himself, Chris Pankonin, and gave me the go-ahead. One prototype later, and I was a columnist! An actual, honest to God, Internet columnist!

After a few weeks of doing straight-up chat codes and FAQs, I decided to write up a little piece on nude codes and how they didn’t exist 99% of the time. It was fun to write, and I had a great deal to say. It also was immensely popular among the 411 staffers. Essentially, it was a column within a column. And I was inspired to do more.

So over the next few weeks, I started concentrating more on commentaries on various things. Considering my cheats came first, I could write what I wanted to write without sticking to a specific theme. I had fun writing these things. I actually had something NEW to say, week after week, when I thought I couldn’t keep up. I was proud of my work.

But as my commentaries grew, the cheat pool shrank. Cheats for newly released games were getting harder and harder to come by. Half the games reviewed on this site didn’t have any real “cheats” to speak of, and the other half had some real short lists. I had to keep going to a pool of relatively new/popular games to fill space. It made the “cheat” portions suck ass. And with the “cheat” portions sucking ass, there really wasn’t any reason for readers to scroll down and read my opinionated pieces, which I was INFINITELY more proud of.

This isn’t a slap to you readers out there. Not by a long shot. Nor is it a rant on “You didn’t read me! I’m sad and bitter!” I’m simply getting bored copying and pasting codes from GameFAQs and rewording them. It makes me look cheap by comparison.

So I’ve decided to put an end to this column for the following reasons:

1) Lack of fan support. Again, I’m not mad you guys who read me. Nor am I bitter. This column was originally intended to be a fan-participation column, with you guys helping me in sending cheat codes and FAQs. During the entire tenure of the column, only Bebito Jackson sent me something to include. Otherwise, no on contributed.

2) I’m really just stealing from GameFAQs. In all honest, I’m just copying and pasting from that site. It makes this hack of a column look cheap, and makes ME look cheap for throwing GameFAQs stuff together and calling it a column.

3) The commentaries The commentaries are my babies. They are the products of hard work and (in some cases) heavy research. That, and I’ve proven to myself and others that I have something decent to say every week. I’d much rather have THAT for a column than Cheat.

So there you have it. You can consider this version of Cheat gone. Done with. Yesterday’s news.

However, I’m not going away. Far from it.

I’m not quitting 411Games or anything. In fact, with the death of Cheat!, I’ve been entrusted with a brand new assignment. Can’t exactly tell you what it is yet, but its gonna be REALLY cool.

Cheat codes still going to be a part of it, just not a big part. Their being demoted to the backseat, while my commentaries get shotgun. That sort of thing.

And I promise it will be better than whatever Jeff Watson throws up weekly. (ZING! BWAHAHAHA! I’m SO funny! I poked a funny at another 411 staff member! I R teh koooool! He’s probably kinda angry, yet flattered in a bizarre, twisted sort of way! HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

In any case, keep an eye out for my name in the next week or two. It won’t be in the traditional Wednesday spot either, so stay on your toes!

Whatever parting thoughts are up there in the commentary. If you scrolled right past it, scroll UP, damn you!

Next week, I’ll be up TOP. Hope to see you there!

Until next time, ripping off other people is NOT cool. You know who you are. STOP THAT!

Alex Williams