Author: Mark B.

  • Playing the Lame Vol. 13

    Hi. I’m Mark B, and this is Playing the Lame. More or less. I started a new job this week, which left me about, oh, five minutes of free time to myself. In other words, I’ve played no games this week, I’ve had no time to write much, and I’m seriously behind. I’m rather agitated…

  • Review: Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires (Microsoft Xbox 360)

    Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires Genre: Action/Hack-n-Slash/Strategy Developer: Koei Publisher: Koei Release Date: 3/28/06 I was never really a huge fan of the Dynasty Warriors series. I mean, it’s a perfectly fine franchise and all, but there’s just entirely TOO MUCH of it. I’ve played a few DW titles (including the PS1 fighting game, ugh), Samurai…

  • Playing the Lame Vol. 12

    Hello, this is Mark B once again here at PtL central, here to give you your fix of whatever’s on my mind this week. There was no column last week, you will note, for two separate reasons: first, because my job status at the moment is in a state of flux (that I’d rather not…

  • Playing the Lame Vol. 11

    Yo yo people, it’s Mark B bringing you another disturbing creation from the annuls of gaming crapdom. I got some pretty solid feedback from last week’s column, surprisingly enough, so we’re going to try an experiment here: every week, I’ll try to highlight a piece of news (or two) in addition to my normal writing…

  • Review: Rumble Roses XX (XB360)

    Rumble Roses XX Genre: Wrestling Developer: Yukes Publisher: Konami Release Date: 3/28/06 So. I liked the original Rumble Roses. Yes, really. Sure, it was heavily limited. Absolutely, it had less depth than a kiddie pool. And yeah, it was largely about T&A. But beyond the attempted sex appeal, beyond the stupid mud matches, beyond all…

  • Playing the Lame Vol. 10

    Hey folks, Mark B here with a column, though not the normal one. I’ve been kind of busy with some things, both real life and website related, and while I have a little something planned for ya soon (well, WE do… you’ll see), I figured it’d be kind of… well… LAME to not put SOMETHING…

  • Review: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (XB360)

    The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Genre: TRUE Action/RPG Developer: Bethesda Publisher: 2K Games Release Date: 3/20/06 Okay, you’re looking up there and seeing “TRUE” and wondering “huh?” Allow me to explain. The standard console RPG, as we’ve come to understand it, has been all kids running around saving the world while making chibi-chibi faces and…

  • Playing the Lame Vol. 9

    Ohayo! It is I, your wonderful master of all things craptacular, Mark B, here once again to ladle some crap onto your waiting plate. Sorry for the lack of me last week… life interfered with my otherwise free schedule, and combined with the inability to come up with something worthwhile to write about, I wasn’t…

  • Review: CMT Presents: Karaoke Revolution Country (PS2)

    CMT Presents: Karaoke Revolution Country Genre: Singing/Rhythm game Developer: Harmonix Publisher: Konami Release Date: 3/21/06 I’m not normally the sort of person who likes to half-ass it when I come out here and write my stuff. I mean, hey, everyone should take pride in what they do, so should I, right? That said, when I’m…

  • Review: Burnout Revenge (XB360)

    Burnout Revenge Genre: Racing Developer: Criterion Publisher: EA Release Date: 3/7/06 Hey look, it’s a racing game for the 360! We haven’t seen that before! Okay, so Burnout Revenge is the fifth racing title to come out for the 360 since November. And yeah, it’s not like it hasn’t been available for practically every other…

  • Playing the Lame, Vol. 8

    Hey hi howdy, I’m Mark B, and we’re Playing the Lame right here, right now. Okay, RIGHT NOW I’m probably playing Oblivion, so no, I’m not technically playing the lame, but the cool thing is that this will pretty much be here for the life of the site, so depending on when you read it,…

  • Review: Fight Night Round 3 (XB360)

    Fight Night Round 3 Genre: Boxing/Sports Developer: EA Chicago Publisher: EA Sports Release Date: 2/20/06 Alright, time to come clean. I’m not a boxing fan. I have a fundamental appreciation for the sport, but I can honestly say I’ve never watched a fight in my life. I can count the number of boxing games I’ve…

  • Review: Grandia 3 (PS2)

    Grandia 3 Genre: RPG Developer: Game Arts Publisher: Square Enix Release Date: 2/14/06 I’ll be the first to admit that I like Game Arts as a company more than a lot of others. Why shouldn’t I? They’ve made three of my favorite RPG’s of all time (Lunar Silver Star, Lunar Eternal Blue, and Lunar Advance),…

  • Playing the Lame, Vol. 7

    Before we begin, I’d like to take this opportunity to extend a big “f*ck you” to PSM as a collective entity, for: 1.) trying to justify homebrew PSP applications by using the old standby of how PC game makers don’t pay a licensing fee to release PC games. Hey, guys, Nintendo Seal of Approval, remember?…

  • Review: Marc Ecko’s Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure (PS2)

    Marc Ecko’s Getting Up Genre: Action/Adventure Developer: The Collective Publisher: Atari Release Date: 2/14/06 I suppose I’m probably not the target demographic for a game like Getting Up. I’m a suburban kid, born and raised; I’m not exactly artistically gifted; the sum total of my rap music ownership amounts to Eminem and Kid Rock (depending…

  • Review: Chibi Robo (Nintendo Gamecube)

    Chibi Robo Genre: Action Adventure Developer: Skip Ltd. Publisher: Nintendo Release Date: 2/6/06 When I say Nintendo, what comes to mind? Goofy action adventure games, big on character and amusement, yeah? Perhaps Mario, Donkey Kong, or Pokemon? Okay, what about when I say weird Japanese games? Katamari Damacy, Mister Mosquito, Mad Maestro, Gitaroo Man? Okay,…

  • Review: Full Auto (XB360)

    Full Auto Genre: Combat Racing Developer: Pseudo Interactive Publisher: Sega Release Date: 2/14/06 Well, it’s been a while since we’ve played one of these kinds of games, huh? I mean, yeah, Twisted Metal: Black had cars with guns, but the last game I can remember that actually had combat AND racing was Wipeout, which isn’t…

  • Review: Sonic Riders (XB)

    Sonic Riders Genre: Racing Developer: Sonic Team Publisher: Sega Release Date: 2/21/06 Hey, look, it’s a Sonic the Hedgehog racing game! That’s new! Okay, so this is Sonic’s third foray into the world of racing games. The first two (Sonic R for the Saturn and Sonic Drift for the Game Gear) were, shall we say,…

  • Playing the Lame Vol. 6

    Hola peeps. Mark B here to hook you up with the lameness. Normally I’d be talking terrible gaming, but that’s going to have to wait until next week. Right about now I’m pissed off. It’s a relative kind of pissed off, mind you (I DO have a life, y’know), but I have something to say…

  • Preview: Final Fantasy XI (XB 360)

    Publisher: Square Enix / Developer: Square Enix / Genre: MMORPG / Release Date: 05/01/06 If you’re an avid online gamer, you’ve probably nmoticed the same thing I (a not so avid online gamer) did: console gamers have almost no MMORPG’s. Phantasy Star Online notwithstanding, only two MMO’s have graced the consoles in the past few…