Author: Chuck Platt

  • Download ’em to the WII! – Chuck Platt’s Top Five

    Tecmo Bowl Original Release Date: 02/89 Developer: Tecmo Publisher: Tecmo System: NES Seriously, do I have to explain why playing Tecmo Bowl on the Wii will be a blast? Singletary, Taylor, Payton, dude, this is football. Madden might get the hype, but Tecmo Bowl is the truth. No other sports game has captured my imagination…

  • Review: Total Extreme Wrestling 2005 (PC)

    I admit it. I watch professional wrestling. Too much, probably. I also admit I am an armchair booker, constantly telling the thus far deaf television what I want to see happen, to a predictably uneventful result. The booking urge in my soul was given salve, however, by Adam Ryland’s superlative Extreme Warfare series of games.…

  • Review: Jade Empire (XB) (2)

    Lucard’s Note: We normally never do second reviews here at IP, saying other opinions for THE TRIBUNAL. But after my review in which I called the game good, worthy playing through once, and gave it a respectable score of a 7, Bioware’s PR firm called Pankonin, Bebito, Widro, and myself whining like babies saying “A…

  • Review: La Pucelle Tactics(PS2)

    So, did you miss me? In all seriousness, though, I totally did not intend to disappear for so long, again. Unfortunately, David Bowie, my birthday, and severe headaches all contributed to my delinquency. Oddly, I was actually working on a review for La Pucelle when my unplanned vacation started, and I’m going to give it…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number: The Otakukin Files 3

    Man’s gotta hate someone Guess I’ll do And when I’m done with myself I start on you-“Tiny, King of the Jews,” Big Black K thnx bai…fuck off… -Yunie_Braska I’ll let you in on a very minor little secret: I post my column mid-afternoon Monday on my LiveJournal, well before it goes up on 411. It’s…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number: The Otakukin Files 2

    Like I said before, this was a project I undertook with bad intentions and a gut full of beer. It was fun, cruel, and not something I would ever do again. Still, an interesting read. KMFDM is in my ear and dirty socks are on my feet, it must be time for another Thumb to…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number: The Otakukin Files 1

    The following column was part of a three part expose of the world of otakukin. It was a gonzo journalism project that was equal parts Hunter S. Thompson and Alex Lucard. It was me being a dick. I do not stand by or endorse anything I say in these columns. It was a bad idea…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 26

    Here we are, another week later, and I am still here. Smarter than never ever before and ready to do something. Hell, I even learned a few things this week. I learned that anxiety is all in my head. I learned that Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles maybe one of the most oddly dissatisfying games I…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 25

    Welcome to yet another installment of A Thumb To The Eye. I’ll be your host, Chuck Platt. Hopefully, you took the opportunity to kick it Abe Lincoln style on Monday, because President’s Day is all about getting bombed, wrestling, and getting shot in the back of the head. phone rings What I MEANT to say…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 24

    Is it possible that the entire world exists to make me HATE being a gamer? Would I enjoy gaming more if I lived in a giant plastic bubble and my only contact with the outside world came through a mail slot? Seriously, the rest of gamer kind gets me down a little, but the companies…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 23

    No I won’t do it again, I don’t want to pretend If it can’t be like before I’ve got it let end I don’t want what I was, I had a change of head But maybe someday… Yeah, maybe someday I’ve got to let it go and leave it gone Just walk away, stop it…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 22

    What a week in Thumbsville. Last Monday and Tuesday I had to take care of my sick girlfriend, followed by a Wednesday and Thursday in my own flu- fuelled agony. Friday and Saturday I got to work, again. And Sunday I went to Oddessy Martial Arts with a buddy of mine so he could by…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 21

    I won’t pray here Or bow my head I won’t praise your name I won’t kneel down. I won’t pray to you On this side of sane (Oh Lord) I won’t pray to you On this side of Hell (Father) I won’t pray to you On this side of Heaven again. I don’t need faith…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 20

    Thank you, Bryan Berg! Bryan was a trooper and filled in for me, so now I owe him, big time. Also, thank you Misha and Alex for helping get my mind off the shitty stuff. Well, here’s the news… Sammy Announces a Game Guaranteed To Suck. Seriously. It’s About Vampires, So, On One Level, Sucking…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 19

    Well, my loyal readers, this is going to be a short one, light on news, big on opinion. But why? Mainly because I still have traveling to do this holiday season and because there is almost no news to report. So, this is the loose ends edition of the Clap. Hope you like it. I…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 18

    Well, last week was a learning experience. Unfortunately, it was a learning experience that got eaten by my word processor. Fucking Microsoft. Hopefully, this week will be untangled. I am still new to the news thing, so please give me time. There still isn’t much going on, but here’s a smattering: Vivendi Universal Games Decide…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 17

    Side note: After a brief unpleasantness in my life, I stopped writing my ‘A Thumb To The Eye’ column for a short time and switched to a news format and the name ‘Clap Hands, It’s Super Happy News Time!’ These columns will be archived in the ‘A Thumb To The Eye’ sequence. Hi, we’re the…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 16

    There are times when I have a coherent column in my head, lodged in there pretty tight. I have to extract it carefully, like Athena from Zeus’s head. Sometimes, one little gag will lead me trying to get all level 99 characters. Now, imagine a world where it doesn’t stop at 99. Or 100. Or…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 15

    The Sound of Muzak: New Ideas In Music Gaming As has been previously discussed, I love music games but have the rhythm of a deaf duck with severe head trauma. Despite this, I still have the occasional need to play music- oriented games and, even more occasionally, the idea to make a new type of…

  • A Thumb To The Eye Number 14

    Insert a witty song quote here Wow. Fourteen Thumbs to the Eye. Yes, I have been banging these babies out for 3 months now. Frighteningly, though, you, the supposed reading public, have no idea what my gaming tastes are, aside from my disdain for Soul Calibur II (Insert egotistical vanity link to my SCII review)…