10 Thoughts On… The Tester (Season 3, Episode 4)

I’m back with my thoughts on the latest episode of The Tester!

Last week, the contestants played a little Uncharted themed obstacle course, and got a visit from Nolan North. The alliances started to take shape, and two people were eliminated. Burn was no shocker, but they went ahead and took out Egoraptor for losing three in a row, even though he performed as well as anyone on his team.

I’m very curious to see how consistent the judges are. Suzkaiden is the most hated member of the cast (this information is not really backed up by anything but my own opinion to be fair). She’s lost two in a row and a third loss should be damning.

Anyway, let’s get to this week’s episode!

1. After the surprise double elimination, Krysti and Ninja end up conversing. I think this could be the first time Ninja has ever talked to a woman before. Anyways, they reflect on how the numbers are already low, and anyone can be cut at anytime. The competition is cutthroat, and one mistake can end it all in one shot.

2. Teams are formed randomly again. This time D1ddy, Kwaja, Ninja, and Akilleez end up together. The other team is Reality, Krysti, Suz, and J-Tight. Both teams are told to pick captains, and the black dudes end up with the jobs. It is then announced that the winning captain will be the only person safe from elimination. This should prove interesting. First things first however, the captains are going to battle in Street Fighter X Tekken for an advantage in the main challenge! After hearing this, Suz confesses her absolute love of fighting games, and how much she wishes she had been chosen to be a leader. Too bad no one likes you, sweetie.

3. For the first challenge, they’ll be using the official fight sticks for the game, which is some more cross promotion there for ya. D1ddy gets the Street Fighter duo of Ryu and Chun Li. J-Tight gets Kazuya and Nina from Tekken. Both are absolutely awful at the game. J-Tight in particular, is playing the stick like it was a drum. He’s literally bashing every button he can at once. He loses the first round, but wins the next two, proving that D1ddy is just as bad. I’ve seen three year olds play smarter than these two. After the win, Suz and Tight have a freak out, which is kind of funny to watch.

4. They get little time to celebrate, though, as the second challenge begins NOW! It starts with two goofy looking dudes putting on a choreographed fight. As it turns out, the teams will need to create fighting game characters and put on a tag battle. Oddly enough, Ninja of all people is confident in his fighting skills. Doesn’t he realize he’s this season’s token fat guy? Anyway, the winners get a copy of Street Fighter X Tekken and the fight stick. Pretty nifty prize. The advantage earned by J-Tight is the right to decide who works with the choreographers first. He chooses to go first, figuring the fighting will be the tough part.

5. Meredith announces the special guest is Seth Killian! He’s the “special combat adviser” for Capcom. I didn’t know who he was, but apparently he has an SF character named after him, so he is much cooler than me. Suz definitely recognizes the name. She freaks out and announces “I just came”. This is probably not a family show.

6. The fight choreography looks like EKP training that I did in high school. These guys can’t go very fast, but that’s only to be expected. Meanwhile, D1ddy’s team works on characters. This seems to be advantageous, as they are plotting out what kinds of moves they’ll use. Ninja creates this bizarrely elaborate backstory involving getting overcharged for fast food meal. This apparently causes him to go on a rampage. His teammates love it, but it sounds really stupid. Back to the choreography, Suz is taking this challenge very seriously, taking charge over what kinds of moves they should use.

7. When the other team gets to make characters, they do it all wrong. The split up into guys and girls. This causes a rift because the girls are going for a serious tone, while the guys are pure comedy. Reality names his character “Douchus Maximus”. Enough said there. D1ddy’s team breezes through the choreography. Since they have already defined their characters, they already know what they want to do and work from there. It definitely seems to be the better position.

8. Sidenote: there is a really kickass Ratchet & Clank arcade cabinet in the loft. Me wants. Anyways, the challenge begins, and it turns out that the teams will be able to watch each other’s performances. Editing has added life bars, special effects, and an announcer. I have to admit that was kind of cool. Ninja runs out of breath WHILE GIVING A MONOLOGUE and the judges shake their heads at him. They laugh, as intended, except they are laughing at him instead of with him. Not a good sign. D1ddy’s team is the clear winner here. They had clearly defined characters, special moves that fit, and there was even a good old fashion ultra special thrown in there for good measure. Kwaja played a nine year old girl, though. That was weird. J-Tight’s team wasn’t bad, but they weren’t nearly as polished. The split in tones was obvious, but Suzkaiden did put a lot into her performance. It’s the first time I’ve seen that “passion” the judges are always going on about.

9. D1ddy’s team rightly gets the win, and its off to the back to contemplate the next elimination. After all, only D1ddy himself is actually safe, meaning one of the winning team could still go home. J-Tight knows he’s in trouble, as he was the captain of the losing team. However, Suz has now lost three challenges in a row. She was a strong member this week, but so was Egoraptor and that was the excuse they gave to boot him out. This should be an interesting elimination.

10. They start off by offering praise to D1ddy, Akilleez, and Suz for being the stars of the show. I guess Suz is probably safe here. In fact, they never bring up her amazing losing streak. By the way, she has another orgasm in the confessional. Sheesh. The judges do go after J-Tight. Not only was he the leader, but he also had perhaps the weakest character. They point out that his move set had nothing to do with his character as it was presented. They also grill him about choosing to do the choreography first, which he admits is a mistake. They then go after Ninja. He was pretty much an incoherent mess. They give him the chance to defend himself, and his reply is equally incoherent. Clearly, J-Tight and Ninja are the ones up for elimination, and no one else is really mentioned. They decide to drop J-Tight because he was the leader. This is not a bad choice, as he stepped up and failed miserably. They also say they’re giving out no second chances. This segues into another surprise, as they then cut Ninja as well! He was a weak player, so I don’t mind seeing him go. It appears they were planning this all along, as making only the winning captain safe allowed them to target weak players on both teams. Interesting. If you’re keeping count, we’re already down to six remaining contestants. Since three go to the final, that means we have at most four episodes left to go.

Next week: The teams get a God of War themed challenge involving digging out weapons in a twisted version of memory. And they’re blindfolded. Akilleez looks to be in serious trouble with the judges. There are three guys and three girls left. So far, I don’t have a clear candidate to win. Come back next week for my thoughts on episode five!

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