Charlie’s Retro Countdown – Retro Makeovers

I’m pretty sure it’s been said by pretty much everyone with a soul, but man, Mega Man 9 is awesome. It was just what the series needed; to take away the anime and voice acting and all that crap, and give us retro graphics and gameplay. Add in perfect difficulty and I was bowing to it. It’s made me think of other series that could use a bit of a makeover. It doesn’t have to be a main console game, it could be a handheld or DLC like Mega Man 9.

By the way, for the purposes of this list, I’ll concede that not everyone would enjoy the classic graphics and would at least want those to be given an overhaul. While the thought of that makes me want to cry…fine. Here are five franchises I’d like to see get a retro makeover.

5) Mega Man X

Yea, I know, it’s been done, with Mega Man Maverick Hunter X. And it was great, as painful as that is to admit. But I want more. I mean, at least the next two games in the series.

Mega Man X2 is one of my favorite games from the SNES. Just great stage design, enhancements and the Zero-collecting sidequest make it a classic, and in my mind, better than the first.

X3, while representing the beginning of Capcom throwing in too many different additions to gameplay (did X really need 4 Ride Armors, 4 different chip enhancements, Zero’s lightsaber, and the golden armor?) was still a great game. Being able to play as Zero, even temporarily, was amazing.

So how about a few more Maverick Hunter X games? The enhanced graphics and remixed music worked for the first game. And, for the third game, might I suggest letting us play the whole game as Zero? Like, boss fights, Sigma, etc.? Just so a) he doesn’t have to be replaced by a weaker X (in the beginning of the game at least) when he gets to a boss fight and b) so he doesn’t get flattened by that fly robot. Come to think of it, Zero gets killed way too often in that series. They should fix that too.

4) Grand Theft Auto

Well, not too retro, but it could use a few ideas from GTA III. Take away the friend/dating system, and just keep it one silent guy doing missions for various crime syndicates and generally causing carnage. That’s all I really want to do with these games; I don’t want realism, I want campy chaos. But having to take someone to a bar or go bowling after completing a mission, while realistic, just isn’t fun. Games like this are meant to be an escape, something you know you wouldn’t do in real life, so why make it realistic? I’m not saying a mission should be to go to planet Vulcan to stop Darth Vader from melting your brain, but next time, how about a little less realism, and a little more ass kicking?

3) The Legend of Zelda

Don’t get me wrong, Twilight Princess was a great game. But, how about a game in the style of Link to the Past or even the original? Like Four Swords Adventures, except not as linear. Give it a top down perspective, semi-classic graphics, less emphasis on stories and cutscenes, more emphasis on dungeon exploration, action, a trading game sidequest, etc. And Ganon has to be the final boss, not some stupid thing like Bellum. What the hell was that supposed to be?

And cut out that voice they added to Link in the GBA re-release of Link to the Past. I don’t care what I said about conceding that people want voice acting: that was just awful.

2) Pokémon

I remember being in 6th grade, playing Pokémon Blue during recess on my gigantic Game Boy. It was a huge deal when I got all 150 of the little monsters. The series has come a long way since then, but damn, 493? That’s like a homework assignment. I don’t have the time to get all those.

I propose a downsizing. Sort of a remake of Pokémon Red/Blue, with the original 150 in a new environment, with new gyms to beat, new places to explore, and so forth. They could even add in Missingno. for good measure.

1) Sonic the Hedgehog

The Werehog. That’s really all I should have to say. The Werehog. What in God’s name were they thinking?

It just boggles the mind. They give us what recent Sonic games have been missing: platforming and running really, really fast, but then take the fun momentum the game builds up and throws a brick wall in front of it in the form of the beat “Ëœem up Werehog sections. It’s not that they were bad, they just didn’t mesh with what made Sonic great in the first place.

If they made a game like the daylight stages in Sonic Unleashed, just running fast to get to the end of the stage, set up like the levels of the original Genesis games (7 or 8 levels with 3 acts to them), it could completely reinvigorate a rather stagnant series. It doesn’t have to be the same graphical style as the originals; the 2-D to 3-D style they had in Unleashed was awesome. Hell, I’d even be happy if they made it like Sonic Rivals, except it shouldn’t be a racing game. And it should be good.

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