Inside Pulse 12

A Thumb To The Eye 2009: January Edition

Welcome to 2009…

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Welcome to the new, improved, and monthly A Thumb To The Eye. For those unaware, A Thumb To The Eye is a forum for me to express my views and opinions on video gaming, whether I should or not. This article, splayed across your monitor like overly verbose pornography, is actually part of my three part video game resolutions for the year that will be 2009. Onward and upward, says I.


Chuck Platt’s Gaming Resolutions For 2009

3. Actually Writing Stuff

As is no doubt obvious to you by now, I am going to increase my spotty at best participation in the machine called Diehard GameFAN. Truth be known, I have long preferred to defer writing to some halcyon day, but no longer. So, let me iterate my pledge for the New Year: I, Charles Platt, will contribute 24 pieces of content to Diehard Gamefan in the calender year of 2009. To keep myself honest, a sadly necessary task, I will tighten the deadline to two, solo, pieces of material per each month, minimum. So, there you go, a resolution I can actually keep, I hope. Only 23 more to go!

2. I Will Finish A Game In 2009

I make no secret of the fact that I, with rare exception, do not finish games. This is a habit I acquired somewhere between Final Fantasy VI, which I completed far too many times to be considered normal, and Final Fantasy VII, which I played for many a fortnight before I simply dropped it, with but one dungeon to conquer. I have yet to figure out why this is, it just is.

At this very moment, I am one boss away from beating Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction, but I will not count this towards my goal. Will it be Grand Theft Auto IV, in honor of the last game I played through, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas? Could it be Half Life 2, a game that has broken me of my aversion to First Person Shooters? Maybe it will be Street Fighter IV, a game that makes me tingle with anticipation…
No matter the title, it will be nice to actually finish one of these games that I pour so much precious time into. Any recommendations?

1. I Will Endeavor To Be A Decent Online Gamer

I will not lie about this very sore subject, but it will be hard to confess. For a video gamer, I am largely a Luddite. I am functionally illiterate at any sort of behind the curtain computer workings. I only buy analog guitar equipment. When it came time to buy a motorcycle, I picked out a Triumph Bonneville, a bike so backwards technologically that it might as well have been made before my birth. Before Thanksgiving, I had owned nothing but analog televisions and a Wii was the most advanced thing in my house.

Now, I own a flat TV, a PlayStation 3, and a wireless router, whatever the Hell that is. That being said, my first, and thus far only, experience online was getting sexually assaulted at Team Fortress 2, and no amount of practice has improved my pathetic attempts at surviving longer than 2:52 with the Scout. So, my most important gaming resolution for 2009 is to become an able, if not excellent, online gamer. Maybe, just maybe, I can get ASNMelody to stop laughing at me, then. If you have a PS3, my name is ChuckJaywalk, and yes, I will totally be your friend.

Until February, I’ve been Chuck.

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