Gaming Zen 4-3-06

Hm, happy post Wrestlemania all. As a cheap bastard with no friends, I haven’t seen the show. Boo hoo. Gaming Zen is weird today. Why is that? Well rather then writing anything substantial, I’m going to just copy and paste posts from GameFAQs about IGN giving Kingdom Hearts a 7.5. What do you expect? I’m angry today. It’s 85 in Florida. Imagine having to deal with two months of brutal heat and humidity without any air conditioning until June. I’m moving to Alaska damn it.

Before that though, let me say a little something about what’s on my mind. Yeah, this isn’t so much a Gaming Zen as it is a glorified blog entry with a banner. Jay Mariotti, Chicago sports writer, commentator/contestant on ESPN’s Around the Horn, and general douchebag, decided to talk about the WWE Hall of Fame and how it isn’t legit. First off, no hall of fame is legit. They’re glorified self ass kissing sessions. Someone who will spend the next five months talking about Barry Bonds and whether or not he should go into the hall of fame has no right to take a morally superior position when at least the WWE Hall of Fame makes no illusions about what it is. The baseball hall of fame will lose all credibility within the next five years because of the huge amount of juiced up players that go in from this era of baseball. So shut the f*ck up Jay.

Alright, alright. Here we go. The Kingdom Hearts II fanboys are complete dumb asses mega post! The first set of these are taken from our friends at Gamerankings.com. You know, the site that took us off because game companies complained since we reviewed their games too low?

First off -GRE- Josh writes:

“Hahaha, I read it to see exactly what made the games rating go down. I guess the original game was extremely repetitive as well… HAHAHAHAHAH. :lol:”

So a game where you kill bad guys by mashing an X button isn’t repetitive?

Followed by Joseph S Miller:

“IGN panders to the pseudointellect. For them, I have no respect. Seriously, IGN says in 3 pages what should be said in 1 or 2, and they say the wrong thing anyway. They demand originality whilst praising some of the most formulaic games ever created. They only rate good games well when they can’t get away with not (Warcraft III). Kingdom Hearts has it’s fanperson (let’s be gender nonsepcific here) base, but it’s not influential or old enough yet to merit their asskissing. It will be after KH2. I haven’t played it yet, but I hvae full confidence in the baditude of Mickey Mouse as a keyblade wielder, and kicking some Organizational hindquarters.”

IGN panders to the “pseudointellect”…. Oh boy. IGN writes three paragraph reviews on games saying essentially “This game is sooo sweet,” and then gives it an 8.whatever. IGN’s average review is lucky to have any legitimate criticism other then “area X could be tightened up here”. Also friends, can you please spell check your goddamn posts before posting them? It’s really really sad.

You know something, my heart isn’t really in this tonight. Fuck it. This weekend has completely burned me out. I’m just posting this so you have something to read. I’m going to bed. I promise that I’ll be back to my chipper old self three beers later. Bye for