Gaming Zen 2/6/06

Hey all. Tom Pandich. In the words of a greater man then you or I, “WORD UP!” This will be a shorter column then most considering three things that I’ll talk about in this column. The trinity of me writing a short column consists of three things. The first is I spent a decent amount of time writing this column during the Super Bowl. As shitty as the calls were against the Seahawks (and they were shitty) I’m still happy because I hit my 0/4 box in the third quarter and picked up $150 in the office pool.

The second is that I’ve had a few longer week then I expected so a lot of my school work and Inside Pulse work has been put on the back burner. I tried to knock out a couple of reviews this weekend (I was successful). I’m shooting to pump out at least one review a day whether it be TV, Movie, Music or Game. I’ve pumped out a review of Death Race 2000, a column, a review of Ducktales Volume 1, and a review of that awful remake, When A Stranger Calls. With a bit of luck, I’ll get out a game review by night’s end and then knock off some homework.

The third is I got Animal Crossing Wild World this week. It has eaten my soul. Quite literally. I’ve lost my ability to hold regular conversations, I walk around outside aimlessly with a fishing pole, and I keep trying to sell dead fish at Wal Mart. So no news, no letters, no “what I’m playing” (which is the big space eater, no less then five new games this week), and no more bullshit. Just a game of a week, deal of the week and a Super Bowl inspired Top Ten. Let’s get to it.

Deal of the Week

There are a few decent video game deals this week. The big sale is the Buy 2, Get 1 on all games 19.99 and under at Circuit City. My three picks? Well I plan on picking up Pokemon: Leaf Green with the wireless adapter, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, and maybe Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (I said to myself I’d pick it up after a price drop and during a sale). There are still a bunch of great games including Sonic Pinball Party/Sonic Adventure Double Pack, Burnout 3, Lego Star Wars, and all of the greatest hits/platinum/player’s choice games.

Still my deal of the week goes to Overstock.com for selling Electroplankton for a mere $25 bucks with free shipping. This will be a collector’s item eventually and this is the best price you’ll find on it period. Also, it’s a good week for DVDs as between Best Buy and Circuit City have around 60 DVDs on sale this week.

Game of the Week

Finally, it’s a week where some shit is getting released! We’ve got Winning Eleven 9. We’ve got Street Fighter Alpha Max 3 for the PSP. We’ve got Drill Dozer! We’ve got Resident Evil DS! We’ve got Chibi Robo! Sadly, while all of these promise to be solid games, we’ve got a clear winner at least in my mind. This week’s game of the week is *drum roll*……..The Rub Rabbits!

I know, I know. I’m being pro-DS again. I could have easily talked about how Tales of Legendia is going to be a great game. Still, it’s nice that we’ve got five new games out this week that we’re able to talk about. Thank goodness we’ve got some excellent new games this week though. The Rub Rabbits is the first true DS franchise and this sequel looks to improve on the three best parts of the original. We get more mini games, more kookiness, and more completely creepy sexual molestation of fake girls. The sequel promises all of this and much much more. Awesome awesome awesome I say.

Top Ten

Time for an easy top ten. Last night was the Super Bowl so it’s easy enough to think about the top ten commercials. A quick note though before I begin. The commercial must actually be advertising something not happening during the Super Bowl (halftime show) or about the Super Bowl, so the Dr. Seuss commercial does not count. Here we go.

1. Bud Light: Beer Hunt: Quick, simple, and violent. Bud commercials are always good for a laugh, and a predictable office scene being destroyed over the thought of Bud Light being hidden around the office is good for a chuckle. It should have been funnier though.

2. Sierra Mist: Airport Security: More stupid humor, but this commercial’s use of the threat of a man’s buttocks being violated makes it one of the best of the Super Bowl. Latex gloves are almost always funny.

3. Budweiser: Magic Fridge: Easily winning the MVP this year is Bud Light for putting out another winner of a commercial. This or the Fed Ex commercial wins commercial of the night.

4. Fed Ex: Dinosaur Package Delivery: Speaking of which, violence and comedy always works for Super Bowl commercials. It may not have been the most original of commercials, but easily it got the biggest chuckle out of me.

5. Ford Escape Hybrid: Kermit: Sure, selling Kermit with a car might be two faced but the Muppets have been whored out for years now and this is the best of all of them. Kermit is handled pretty tastefully here.

6. Desperate Housewives: Desperate Athletes: This is the best home network Super Bowl commercial we’ve had in a few years. Nothing CBS or Fox tossed together to advertise their “big” shows during the year matched up with Shaq, Tony Hawk, and Hugh Heffner talking about Bree, Lynette, Susan, and the rest of the gang.

7. Sharpie Retractable: Pirate: Who doesn’t love pirates? Furthermore, who doesn’t love mascots being made fun of? Sharpie is able to stand out with a moderately comical commercial that isn’t dirty, but still has someone getting something stuck in their nose.

8. Nation Wide: Fabio: Any commercial with Fabio wins some points in my book. Even better is when Fabio is advertising a hair product. The insurance being advertised really is incidental here. The Fabio factor makes it all worth it.

9. Hummer: Little Monster: Yay for giant robots. Yay for giant monsters. Yay for car commercials that I really, really like. This one came a bit later then I would have penciled it in (by halftime most of the gold commercials are out of the way) but I didn’t think anything would crack the top ten this late. Well played Hummer.

10. Mastercard: MacGyver: Simply put, the commercial of the night. This one came even later then the Hummer commercial, and made an even bigger impression on me. If there is one thing I like more then anything, its MacGyver. I’ve watched more MacGyver then is probably humanly possible and the return of Angus in a Mastercard commercial was well worth it.

Rather then end the top ten here, I’ll give you a bonus top five of what commercials sucked it up this year.

1. Pizza Hut: Crust Popping Pizza: Jessica Simpson meet America. America meet Jessica Simpson. Can this love affair with this talentless block of a woman end as soon as possible? It would really make me smile if she could be hit by a bus or even by an Audi.

2. Budweiser: The Littlest Colt: As far as beer commercials go, Budweiser really needs to try something different. The combination of the Colts playing football and the sentimental “aww” commercial that they do every year is starting to get more then a little old. The “aww” commercial of the baby colt trying to pull the carriage all by itself is more then enough to make anyone in the audience with testosterone cringe.

3.Godaddy.com: Boobies: What a crappy, disappointing commercial. The hype was way over the top for this one and Godaddy let me down. Candice Michelle is probably the least sexy of the Raw whores right now and she is one of the most generic looking girls on tv right now. Blah I say. Blah. Expect me to bitch about it tonight with Raw.

4. Careerbuilder.com: Monkeys: Can we please, please, please get over the love of monkeys with Super Bowl commercials? Every single damn year we get at least two commercials with monkeys. Please get over it. Please, please, please!

5. Bittorrent: Super Bowl Halftime Show: My god. If the Rolling Stone’s abysmal performance at halftime at the Super Bowl isn’t reason enough never to buy another CD ever again, I don’t know what is. That may have been the most horrendous “musical” performance ever. It’s a shame too. I was hoping Bruce Springsteen would get a shot at a non-montage halftime show.

Well that’s it for this week. I hope everyone enjoyed this season. If you’re a betting man or woman, remember to ignore every damn word that comes out of my mouth as I don’t know what I’m talking about.