Pulse Cannon

Pulse Cannon August 26, 2004
Michael O’Reilly

You know someday I’m gonna be used to writing a column and I’ll look back at these early ones where I complain about it being a week already and laugh at myself, so feel free to laugh at me now. Go on, I know you’ve been secretly snickering at me the whole time anyway, better to just get it out of your system. That’s the way. Good, now onto the show.

Nobody bothered to write me this week so I’m forced to once again tell you about how my week in gaming went, and you’re gonna be forced to read it. No really, see that dude over to your right? He’s gonna make you read it. What is he going to make you read? Well, my experiences this week revolved around some more Doom 3, Galleon and the demo of what will probably wind up being my PC game of the year, Rome Total War. Ya you read that right. Not Half Life 2. Not Doom 3. Rome Total War.

I’ll start off with Galleon. Now, I’m actually going to be reviewing this as soon as I can finish it, but I’ve come to the conclusion pretty early that this is the kind of game that will take me a while to finish. Not because it’s overly long, or even terribly hard. It’s just the gameplay is not what it should be. It’s a real shame too, because
this game could be an outstanding one, but as it is it pales in comparison to the game it reminds me of the most, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. I’ll explain more in my review, but for now, give it a rental if you like action games, but don’t go in expecting the moon.

Next on deck this week is Doom 3. I got into it some more this past week. Basically everything was moving along all hunky dory, nothing much really scary. Zombies and low light don’t really do it for me. At least not in a game. I’m not sure just how I’d react to a zombie in real life, but anyway, lets just say that I wasn’t sure why everyone was all “Oooh, Doom 3 is scary!”. Well the other day I got to my particular gaming phobia, so now I understand. I saw spiderwebs. I saw long legs in shadows. And then I came out of a long dark tunnel and saw LOTS of spiders. Damn. Ewwwww! Willies galore! And what sucks even more is I’m running out of shells for my shotgun, which seem to be my can of Raid, as it KILLS BUGS DEAD. Still I got past my first batch of spiders and went on to the next stage, where I found more spiders. I guess I’d had enough of it at that point, as I just saved my game and exited. I’ll get back into it sooner or later…maybe later.

Lastly I’m gonna talk about Rome Total War, or at least the demo of it. Word got out on the net a few days ago that the fine fine FINE folks at Creative Assembly were about to release a demo of their hotly anticipated game, Rome Total War. Now, I’ve had this game bought and paid for since June, when I pre-ordered it, but I had known it would be
mine from the minute I heard the rumblings of a new Total War game. I became a fan of the series with the second one, Medieval Total War, and found I liked very much the ideas I was hearing as time went on after the game’s announcement. Full 3D battlefields, fully rendered 3D armies, becoming involved in the intrigue that was Rome back in the
days of the Republic and the Empire. Battling the Goths (they wear all black and are generally depressed about life), the Vandals (spray painting their way all accross Europe), the Gauls (they have some nerve I tell you) and last but not least, Hannibal (who just loves it when a plan comes together) and his Carthaginians. Anyway, the demo was released to Fileplanet and amazingly I didn’t have to wait in line to start downloading it. I guess there’s some advantage to being awake in the middle of the night after all. I eagerly installed it and began my brief stint with the demo of the gods. In the tutorial battle you are basically held by the hand by an advisor who tells you what to do and explains the basic units of the Roman Legion to you. After you complete this tutorial battle you are given command of Hannibal and his Carthaginians to attack a Roman Legion at the Battle of Trebia. I loved how they had your advisor telling you the history of the battle, almost as if he were telling you a story instead of setting up for a battle. You are outnumbered and outgunned by the Roman legion, so you have to ambush them and use the advantages you do have to defeat the superior force. Cavalry, Infantry, Archers…and War Elephants.. oooh doggy. Remember that scene in Return of the King with the Oliphants? Well this is where JRR got the idea, Hannibals War Elephants. Anyway, if you have an anyway decent computer, download the demo and partake in it’s ambrosia.

That’s it for another Pulse Cannon, I’ll eventually figure out the pimping thing (cuz after all, pimpin ain’t easy!) but for now, read everything. I mean it. That dude to your right is still there, and he is gonna force you to read each and every article on Inside Pulse. For now, I’m O’Reilly, and the Pulse Cannon is powered down.