411MAX: News News Revolution 2.20.04

Greetings, and welcome to a sort-of condensed Friday report. College ate up plenty of my time, and online racing in Project Gotham Racing 2 at up even MORE of that. So, there’s not much here. I’m allowed an off-week every once in a while, right?

In any case, big news in my family as my LITTLE SISTER GOT INTO COLLEGE! You may not care that much, but I DO, DAMMIT! Congrats, Mystic Fire. I am proud beyond my wildest dreams.

Going back to PGR2 for a bit, Wednesday night was the first official Xbox Live meeting of Kliq members, which took the form of Cory Laflin and myself. Needless to say, I never had so much fun on Xbox Live before. Cory is an AWESOME guy and a fellow Homestar Runner fanatic to boot, which makes him even more awesome. He also does the best “The Cheat”, to complement my awesome “Strong Bad”. (Needless to say, we probably sent about 50 of our opponents away, muting us in the process. Good clean fun!)

But I have deadlines to meet, chapters to read, and interviews to conduct. All in the name of grades. Joy. So, ON WITH THE NEWS!


TOP STORY: DDR Ultramix Song Pack #3 Coming March 1st!

All you DDR players with Ultramix can download a new song pack at the beginning of next month! Isn’t that GREAT?!?

Well, ISN’T IT?!?!?!?

That’s all I got. We have NO CLUE as to what the songs are yet, but we know the new download is coming! That’s gotta account for SOMETHING, right?

All this uncomfortable silence…okay, moving on…

(Credit goes to DDRFreak.com)


Konami Hires New Licenser

Here’s a story related to Konami that I DO have details for.

Konami of America recently hired a woman by the name of Linda Osher. If that name sound familiar to you, you’d probably know her from her background in music licensing and marketing services. She has an impressive resume, which includes working for Disney, Nissan, and the Lifetime Network.

She comes to KOA with the express purpose of helping Konami score more ties with the entertainment industry, including movies, books and music.

Hmmm…music…you don’t think…

QUICK! LINDA! GET MOONLIGHT SHADOW BY MISSING HEART ON THE NEXT AMERICAN DDR MIX! HELL, TRY AND LICENSE CAN’T BUY ME LOVE BY THE BEATLES WHILE YOU’RE AT IT! YOU HAVE THE POWER! USE IT FOR GOOD!

(Yeah, that’ll work…)

(Credit goes to Gamespot)


Xbox Live Upgrades A Comin’

Over the coming year, Microsoft will release new upgrades to the Xbox Live service, making it even more enjoyable than it already is! (SHAMELESS PLUG) Here are some of the new features (Descriptions taken from 1UP.com):

Team Dynamics: A structured clan system, this seems to be, where players can form a team with a distinct identity, send messages within that team, keep statistics for that team, and challenge other teams to matches. (I guess this means the Kliq can set up a clan, and become an UNSTOPPABLE FORCE in the online world!)

Competitions: Tsunami will let developers more easily implement different competitions into games, which can then be administered by either users or publishers. (Here’s something interesting. We could finally organize some killer DDR tourneys without leaving the house!)

Title-Managed Online Storage: That’s not the clearest term to describe a system for sharing user-created content, but it’s Microsoft’s, not ours. This feature will let players upload custom content for some games — custom logos, for instance, as well as more complex items like rosters and maps — and see it organized by title for other players to download. (Perhaps NOW we can share edit steps for DDR via Live?)

MSN Messenger Integration: Mentioned as far back as last year’s E3, this feature will let players in a game contact other players on their PCs, using Microsoft’s MSN Messenger utility. (I never use MSN Messenger. Therefore, I don’t care. At all.)

These features are awesome, however, they’ll only be compatible with future Xbox Live releases. So, we gotta wait for them, AND wait to use them right. Crap.

(Credit goes to 1UP.com)


Wanna Add Accordions To Outkast? Well, NOW YOU CAN!

Coming soon from Codemasters and MTV is the next version of their Music Generator series. Being released on the PS2 and Xbox, it will contain licensed tracks that you can remix. Artists include Outkast and Snoop Dogg.

You know what this means? I Like The Way You Move -Polka Mix-!

Yeah, that’s the best I could come up with. My excuse? It’s late, and my humor’s wearing thin. I CAN’T BE 100% ALL THE TIME! YOU MONSTERS!

(Credit goes to GameSpy)


Panky Forgot This…

Well, we had our first official 411 Previewof 2004 not too long ago, and Wizard bless Pankonin for putting it together. But there’s one thing he didn’t include in there that I’m going to rectify…

MTX: Mototrax will contain a brand new song by rock group Slipknot. The song is called Don’t Get Close, and won’t appear anywhere else until the band releases its next album this May. Speaking of the album, it will contain cheat codes for the game that will unlock special Slipknot related items, like a custom bike.

The game’s due out in early March, so you Slipknot fans don’t have long for a little album preview.

(Credit goes to GameDaily)

There’s your news! Short, yes, but college deadlines take precedence. (Don’t argue. It’s true.)


PLUGS & SHILLS THAT PAY THE BILLS

It’s time for the Kliq’s favorite part of the week! (I’m assuming. Correct me if I’m wrong, guys, but it’ll cost you points…) It’s time where I give everyone fake points based on quality work! In essence, everything here is NOT made up, but the points don’t matter. Just like Crash Nitro Kart coming out on the N-Gage. Doesn’t mean a thing.

And yet they fight over these points like Capcom and SNK fanboys going head to head. It’s really fun to watch! So lets get set up for the next round!

News You Can Use

Gamer’s HangoverCory Laflin
The news is light, but that doesn’t stop Laflin from delivering some political insight, as well as yours truly some pimp boots for having the guts to display my mug to the world. He also gives us some dieting tips, but I’m sorry to say I glanced over them. My dieting consists SOLELY of a DDR workout and sub sandwiches when I’m ready. And finally, he receives BONUS points for our first meeting on Xbox Live. Ever. He rules.
Reward Points: 155 / Total: 900

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To Video GamesMisha Surma
Misha has industry opinions on the Nintendo DS, news on the 34,787th Star Wars game, and European release dates. He also super-plugs Fredrick Badlissi thanks to an AIM chat. And for the record, Marvin is officially at -200 Kliq Points for making fun of my beard. (YOU WANNA GO FOR MORE, BOY?!?!?)
Reward Points: 95 / Total: 640

Mid-Week Mid-Boss News ReportLee Baxley
He’s the Bad Guy! Not just ANY bad guy, but the MID-BOSS! Yippee! This week, Lee’s cooked up news on City of Heroes, what WAS Mythica, release dates, and anime news. Lee is simply awesome. He covers HENTAI! That makes him the ballsiest guy on our staff.
Reward Points: 100 / Total: 760

Thank God It’s Thursday News ReportBryan Berg
Berg is officially more awesome than he is already. Why, do you ask? Well, he’s the first Kliq Rewards member to earn over 1,000 points! He gains this honor through hard work, great effort…and threatening me with bodily harm if he didn’t. Well, congrats Bryan! You can put down the machete!
Reward Points: 115 / Total: 1050

Reviews You Can Use

SOCOM II (PS2)Matthew Yeager
Matt’s been churning them out lately, going on ANOTHER FPS game I’ll never touch. But he touched it, and now he’s bragging to all his friends. (This’ll humor only me, I’m sure.)
Reward Points: 50 / Total: 150

Previews You Can Use

MTX: MototraxChris Pankonin
Woah, woah, woah, wait. Back up. A PREVIEW?!!? We do those? *Cough* Seriously, da boss come out of hiding with a first look at Activision’s new motocross game. Get all the details here!
Reward Points: 110 / Total: 410

Columns You Can…uh…Use

RetrogradingAlex Lucard
The second part of his ultimate RPG countdown includes Super Hydlide, The Bard’s Tale, and Disgaea. Three prime cuts of meat high above the simple garnishes that are FFVIII and others like it. Plus, Lucard is the SECOND one to break 1,000 points! Praise all around!
Reward Points: 105 / Total: 1005

A Thumb To The EyeChuck Platt
I never knew Mario had so many jobs! (You forgot Construction Worker and Pinball Bouncer, among other things, but I’ll let it slide this time.) He also called me…Norwegian WOOD?!?!? GAH! If I wasn’t such a huge Beatles fan, I’d be offended! But, I’m a fan, so he gets bonus points. (CURSE HIM BEING MY FAVORITE WRITER!)
Reward Points: 150 / Total: 860

The Angry GamerLiquidcross
Games that need additional hardware / special controllers can either help or hurt, as LC explains this week. It may be short, but I find myself seeing his point of view. It’s why I’m passing up FF:CC, considering it’s too much effort to play.
Reward Points: 100 / Total: 580

Absentees

Bebito Jackson
D’OH!
Reward Points: 0 / Total: 420

Fredrick Badlissi
D’OH!…again!
Reward Points: 0 / Total: 565


PARTING THOUGHTS

Again, apologies all around for a semi-rushed column. Next week, you’ll see something a bit longer in the Friday spot. (If I don’t suffer a nervous breakdown first.)

Until next week, everyone I know rules. My sister, Cory, Lucard, Bebito, and all the additional names I can’t list here for fear of finishing the report at 4:00 AM as a result. If I know you…YOU RULE!


Alex Williams, The Norwegian Athlete