Cheat! 08.06.03

Greatest thing alive? Hardly. Anyone who puts “THE NUDE CODE” in their teaser is infinitely more deserving of that honor! — Bryan Berg

And Bryan… I must agree. The greatest move I’ve ever seen anyone here do a 411 Games, was to put a NUDE CODE in their teaser, and then bash the people for coming into their column for that VERY reason. Beautiful. AW, you’re too awesome man. — Bebito Jackson

I must top Alex W’s teaser. — Alex Lucard

Who would have thought last week’s little stunt would become the stuff of legend amongst the 411 staffers?

Greetings everybody! The name is Alex Williams, and the name of the game is CHEATING! (Well, that’s the concept behind the column, anyway. The actual names of the games can be found later.)

Oy vey, what a week it’s been. The new Internet computer has arrived, and the hard drive with all my favorite stuff on it is toast. I lock my keys in my car, and in the process of getting them out, I break the lock on the driver’s side. There’s about three weeks to go before I move to Towson, and I have no idea where my dorm room is, or if I’m able to take the classes I signed up for. I need to make appointments for a shot AND an eye exam. Long story short, I got a TON of calls to make.

And the worst part is, it’s been a slow week review-wise at 411 Games. Don’t get me wrong; the reviews themselves are GREAT! (Gotta love that 411 insight!) But there were just a handful of new reviews this week that I haven’t covered yet, or just don’t have codes for. (Damn Charlie’s Angels and Space Channel 5 for being codeless! Damn them!)

That, and with all the hullabaloo this past week, my planned N-Gage commentary will have to be pushed back until next week. (It was on the toasted hard drive, and it’s gone. I need to start from scratch again. Ugh.) Instead, I’ve included a short rebuttal to another fine column here on 411. We have differing opinions, and I feel it is right to bring up the other side of the coin.

In other news, this is the first column in Cheat! history in which I have full control over the HTML. So, this is either going to look a lot cooler than in past weeks, or it’s going to look like a beginner’s web page design class project. Let’s hope it’s the former.

But for starters, lets get to what this column is all about. Cheat codes, cheat codes, and more cheat codes. ON WITH THE CHEATING!
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THE ELDER SCROLLS III: MORROWIND

For the record, Morrowind is making an appearance this week in honor of me beating the main quest in the PC version. I took great pleasure in anally raping Dagoth Ur with my Daedric Claymore! (No, not literally! Perverts! Go back to last week’s column!)

Anyway, here are some cheats to help you out when you are in a pinch, along with some step-by-step instructions just in case. (Thank you GameFAQs for your patronage!)

Restore Fatigue
1) While in the game, hit (B) to bring up the menus.
2) Use the (L) and (R) triggers to switch to the Stats menu.
3) Used the D-pad to select the Fatigue entry.
4) Press (BLACK) (BLACK) (WHITE) (WHITE) (BLACK)
5) Press and hold (A) until the desired Fatigue level is reached.

Restore Health To Restore Health:
1) While in the game, hit (B) to bring up the menus.
2) Use the (L) and (R) triggers to switch to the Stats menu.
3) Used the D-pad to select the Health entry.
4) Press (BLACK) (WHITE) (BLACK) (BLACK) (BLACK)
5) Press and hold (A) until the desired Health level is reached.

Restore Magicka
1) While in the game, hit (B) to bring up the menus.
2) Use the (L) and (R) triggers to switch to the Stats menu.
3) Used the D-pad to select the Magicka entry.
4) Press (BLACK) (WHITE) (WHITE) (BLACK) (WHITE)
5) Press and hold (A) until the desired Magicka level is reached.
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JET GRIND RADIO (GBA)

How many times do we have to say “Jet SET Radio” before Sega gets the message? (Well, outside of the X-Box game?)

Here’s a cute little trick. When you first turn on your GBA with JGR inside, press A repeatedly until the Sega logo appears. You’ll hear a different “Sega” sound byte instead of “Seeee-GAAAAAAAA!”

And here’s how to unlock the various gangs/characters:

Poison Jam: Achieve Jet Ranking in all the Kogane-Cho levels.
Love Shockers: Achieve Jet Ranking in all the Shibuya-Cho levels.
Noise Tanks: Achieve Jet Ranking in all the Benten-Cho levels.
Professor K: Finish the game.

(Credit goes to GameFAQs.)
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MARIO GOLF: TOADSTOOL TOUR (GameCube)

Golf is nothing more than hitting a little white ball, and walking after it. Only the Mario Golf series makes this concept fun and entertaining.

First, here’s how to unlock various characters:

Boo: Obtain 50 Best Badges
Bowser Jr: Complete Ring Shot mode with any character.
Petey Piranah: Complete the Shooting, Approaching, and Putting side games on all three difficulties.
Shadow Mario: Obtain every badge in Tournament Mode.

You can also unlock special “star” versions of each character by defeating them in a “V.S. Character Battle” when they have an envelope next to their name.

Now, here’s how to unlock the various hidden courses:

Cheep Cheep Tournament: Win the Lakitu Classic Tournament with any character.
Sands Classic: Win the Cheep Cheep Tournament with any character.
Blooper Bay: Win the Sands Classic Tournament with any character.
Peach’s Invitational: Win the Blooper Bay Tournament with any character.
Bowser’s Championship: Win the Peach’s Invitational Tournament with any character.

Now, here’s how to unlock some special tournaments:

Target Tour: Hold Z and press Start at the title screen. Select “Password Tournament” and enter CEUFPXJ1.
Hollywood Video Tour: Hold Z and press Start at the title screen. Select “Password Tournament” and enter BJGQBULZ.

(Credit goes to GameFAQs.)
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METROID PRIME (GameCube)

Another game that appears as a result of a slow week. You’re just lucky enough that you didn’t get a game that sucked major donkey balls in its place.

As most of you know, there are three endings. Here’s how to get them:

Ending 1: Beat the game at less that 74%
Ending 2: Beat the game between 75% and 99%
Ending 3: Beat the game at 100%

And now, some other goodies:

GC / GBA Bonuses

If you beat Metroid Fusion on the GBA, us the Game Link function between it and Metroid Prime to unlock the original NES Metroid game.

If you beat Metroid Prime and use the Game Link feature, you can unlock Samus’ Metroid Fusion suit for use in Metroid Prime.

Unlock Hard Mode: Beat the game, and it will become an option.

Unlocking Art Galleries:
Gallery 1: Scan 50% of the scan-able items in the game.
Gallery 2: Scan 100% of the scan-able items in the game.
Gallery 3: Beat the game on Hard Mode.
Gallery 4: Collect all the items in the game.

(Credit goes to GameFAQs)
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NAVAL OPS: WARSHIP GUNNER (Playstation 2)

It’s a lesser-known title about WWII, but still seems relatively decent. Give it a go if you’re bored with everything else.

There’s plenty of stuff to unlock in this little beauty. See if you can fulfill these requirements:

203mm Chain Gun: Destroy 100 Enemy Aircraft
356mm Chain Gun: Destroy 500 Enemy Aircraft
406mm Chain Gun: Destroy 999 Enemy Aircraft
Grain Laser: Destroy 999 Battle Ships
Multi-Warhead Launcher: Destroy 100 Battle Carriers
I32-Arawashi: Destroy 100 Carriers
Special Warhead Torpedoes: Destroy 500 Cruisers
New Supersonic Torpedo: Destroy 999 Cruisers
Atomic Engine Alpha: Destroy 100 Destroyers
Atomic Engine E: Destroy 500 Destroyers
Gas Turbine E: Destroy 999 Destroyers
46cm 60-Caliber Gun: Destroy 100 PT Boats
Wave Gun: Destroy 100 Superships
2-Hull Cruiser: Destroy 100 Transport Ships
2-Hull Battleship: Destroy 500 Transport Ships
Xbattlecarrier: Destroy 999 Transport Ships
Astral Railgun: Beat Level D-9 with all parts.

(Credit goes to GameFAQs.)
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STAR WARS: KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC (X-Box)

Wait, wasn’t this game covered last week? Well, yes, it was. But I found more for it, so it appears again! Isn’t that great?

You need two controllers for this trick)

Before the final battle with Darth Malak press the L & R Triggers plus the Y Button on all controllers that you have plugged into the X-box. It’s recommended to have the primary controller in port 1 and another controller in port 4. This must be done before you enter the door to face Darth Malak. You’ll know if you did it right if your Jedi takes out her/his lightsaber. Then open the door and walk up to Malak and talk to him.

(Credit goes to GameFAQs.)
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JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

I figure about every four weeks or so, I’ll post links to my older columns in a special section. No, it’s not a way to self-promote myself (although it is tempting”¦). This way, if you’re looking for a code for games that were previously covered, you won’t have to go hunting around from column to column. Here you’ll get a link to a column, and what it contained.

WEEK 1: Brute Force, Enter The Matrix, The Hulk, Sonic Adventure DX: Director’s Cut, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and Ultimate Muscle.

WEEK 2: Arc The Lad: Twilight of the Spirits, Evil Dead: A First Full of Boomstick, Midtown Madness 3, NBA Street Vol. 2, Phantasy Star Online, Wario World, and a Sonic Adventure DX: Director’s Cut Mini-Faq.

WEEK 3: Burnout 2: Director’s Cut, Clock Tower 3, Game & Watch Gallery 4, Golden Sun: The Lost Age, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, Lost Kingdoms II, Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Sonic Pinball Party, Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness, and Super Mario Brothers 3.

WEEK 4: Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, Dragon Ball Z: The Legacy of Goku II, Mega Man Network Transmission, NCAA Football 2004, Sonic Adventure 2: Battle, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Wario Ware, Inc.: Mega Microgame$, Rocket Knight Adventures, Sparkster, and the NUDE CODE!
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RETROCHEATING

Believe it or not, the section name is actually Alex Lucard approved! No lawsuits to worry about! Wheeeeee!

In any case, this week we’ll take a look at an older game, but one that’s far less obscure than Rocket Knight Adventures. Perhaps you’ve heard of it.

POKÃÆ'”°MON RED/BLUE (Game Boy)

Okay, so you probably have heard of it. Those who haven’t are probably living in caves thinking the world is flat.

But this trick is one that deserves to be right here in Cheat!. It allowed me to beat the system and complete my Pokédex without having to resort to a Game Shark.

So sit tight, kiddies, and I’ll let you in on how to catch the Safari Zone Pokémon outside of the actual Safari Zone.

To start with, make sure you have Pokémon that knows “Fly”, and one that knows “Surf” in your party. The trick won’t work otherwise. Now for the good stuff:

1) First, you’ll need to get into the Safari Zone, and head to the area where the Pokémon you want to catch are at.
2) Once you’re in the area, use “Fly” to warp out of the Safari Zone and warp back to Fuchsia City.
3) Head directly south and use “Swim” at the waterway between Fuchsia City and Seafoam Island.
4) Head to Seafoam Island as quick as you can, preferably with as little encounters as possible.
5) Once you get to Seafoam Island, DO NOT go on land! Instead, Surf up and down the shore of the island itself. Your wild encounters will be of the Safari Zone Pokémon of the area you flew out of! Now catch as many as you can normally!
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COMMENTARY: IN RESPONSE TO LIQUIDCROSS

To avoid risking half-assing a column because of events outside of my control, I’m including this in the N-Gage’s steed:

Liquidcross is one of our new columnists here at 411. His latest edition of “The Angry Gamer” dealt with the issue of video game “ports”, or the same game (or series of games) being released on a new system. It is of his opinion that there are “too many” of these ports flying around, citing that he’s “played the game before.” And you can find it here. Something tells me that he is missing the point all together.

He picks on Nintendo for re-releasing the classic Super Mario Brothers series on the Game Boy Color and the Game Boy Advance. Not only has he played all these games before, but he wants brand new stuff as well.

The main thing we need to remember here is that not everyone has played these games the first time around. Take myself, for example. I never owned a Super NES. Not once in my life. Ergo, I never got the chance to own Super Mario World, Super Mario All-Stars, or even play Yoshi’s Island. I don’t regret many decisions I’ve made in my life, but I do regret missing out on classic Super NES games.

Thankfully, Nintendo has allowed those of us who missed out on some of these great titles by re-releasing them on the GBA. I now own a portion of Super Mario Allstars, Super Mario World, and Yoshi’s Island as Super Mario Advance 1, 2, and 3. And for those who had played these games already, extras were thrown in to expand on the original. Granted it’s a marketing decision, but it’s nice to see.

Plus, we now have the option of playing these games wherever we want. No longer connected to the TV, we can now stick it to Bowser in the car, on a plane, and wherever else we choose to bring our Game Boys.

And lets not forget the fact that Super Nintendos are no longer in such supply as they used to be. Many have traded in their old SNES systems in the mid 1990s and replaced them with newer breed of Saturns, Playstations, and N64s. I’ll bet that sacrifices were made when trading these units in as well, such as no longer being able to play Super Mario World. Well, now, we can without scouring Funcoland or eBay.

Next, he picks on Sega for re-releasing Dreamcast ports of games on the newer systems, most notably Sonic. During this portion, he asks us “Were any of those games really necessary?!” Well, are ANY games put out today really necessary? Is this entire gaming industry even necessary? Well, no, not really. The entire gaming industry, and the games that are produced because of it, are simply a gigantic diversion created to take pressures off our own boring, miserable realities. None of it is necessary, but it’s pretty damn fun.

Okay, getting back to the Dreamcast ports. As much as it pains me to say, the Dreamcast didn’t do very well in the sales department. And because of this, many DC titles such as the Sonic games, the original Phantasy Star Online, the voice-communication sim Seaman, the psychedelic music-romp Space Channel 5, and countless others were gone unnoticed by the majority of the gaming community. Sega is re-releasing these titles to give the public a taste of what the Dreamcast had, and what many were missing. And like Nintendo, Sega slapped some “frosting on the top” to give gamers who already played the game some more to chew on. Sure SADX could have stood to have some of the bugs fixed, but we got Sonic’s entire Game Gear history to make up for it.

Next, LC brings up Capcom and the huge amount of Resident Evil re-releases. Believe it or not, I agree to a point. The fact that Resident Evil 2 & 3 were brought to the GC without any alterations, and selling them for $40 a piece is a stupid decision, in my opinion. Or course, on the other side of the coin, it gives people who never owned a PSX/PS2 a chance to play them, but the GameCube is capable of much more than than PS1 graphics. Even Sega touched up the graphics a bit in both of their Sonic re-releases.

He also goes in to which ports make “sense”, such as Activision Anthology and Namco’s Museum. Why do they make sense? Because they were released 20 years ago originally? So what you’re saying is that if Super Mario Allstars was released in a collector’s package 10-15 years from now, only THEN would the re-releases make sense?

So in conclusion, my point is this: perhaps YOU are sick and tired of playing the same game over and over again. But others may have never played those games to begin with.

And as far as Mario re-releases, Super Mario Bros. 3 should be the last one outside of the Super Mario Land games and Super Mario RPG (Which will probably never happen). So keep your finger’s crossed”¦
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PARTING THOUGHTS

Now that the whole Internet thing is behind me, things should calm down for the next couple of weeks. You can expect my N-Gage thoughts next week, I promise this time.

You know what I just realized? There’s NO Sonic material outside of the Commentary. Let’s hope my Sonic praising was enough to hold Bebito’s attention”¦

So until next week, remember that every video game system ever released has at least one good game for it. Even the Atari Jaguar.

Alex Williams