411 Games Rumor Down-Lo 07.08.03

411 Games Rumor Down-Lo 07.08.03

411 Games Quote of The Week
All Bebito did was format . . . er . . . FORWARD me the official 411 HTML guide for Clueless Columnists and tell me how much he liked my work. I will pimp him properly later.
— Cory Lafin (Gamer’s Hangover News Report 07.07.03)

(411 DOWN-LO ONLINE 07-08-03: BEGIN TRANSMISSION…)

Hi, I’m Bebito Jackson, and desperate times call for desperate measures.

Valor.

Honesty.

Integrity.

Honor.

Behold the principals that separate the men, from the great men. The principals that define who and what a man is, and how he’s perceived. The principals that make good fathers, exceptional teachers, and brilliant philosophizers. These principals, these divinely given principals…

Are all going out the window for this column.

Instead they will be replaced with…

Cowardice.

Duplicity.

Immorality.

Insult.

Behold the principals that corrupt a man. That tear at his soul, and remove his humanity. These are the principals that create crackheads, lawyers, and baby’s daddies. Regular Down-Lo readers may be familiar with a couple of these. In any given column, of these atrocious attributes you’ll maybe see at least one or two a week. At the most three. But for today, I’m giving forewarning now to expect every debaucherous one of them.

Bebito Jackson is broke. And may God help you all.

Yes. Money is tight people. Bills don’t pay themselves. And you know how life is; just when you’re at your lowest most vulnerable point, the vultures come out to pick you apart. What am I gibbering on about? Recently I’ve been approached about selling advertising space within the Down-Lo. It was a tempting proposition to be honest, but you fine folks all know that I have much, much, more veracity than that. Never would I allow this column, let alone this entire virgin-like games site, to be disgracefully tainted by allowing the shameless shilling of non-411 approved products. It just would be inappropriate and completely out of the question. And I’ll have none of it.

With that said, man all this talking has me parched. I could suuuure go for some liquid refreshment. *Rumor Monkey runs over* Oh! Look everyone, it’s my friend and companion the Rumor Monkey. How you doing buddy? *Rumor Monkey hands Bebito a canned soda* What’s this? PEPSI TWIST!? Why, thank you! I’ve been hankering for a cool crisp Pepsi Twist all day! *Bebito opens Pepsi Twist* Mmmm. Just smell that lemony flava. Dis be the bomb, yo. *takes a long satisfying sip* Ahh… it’s like there’s a party in my mouth and everyone’s invited! The joy of Pepsi now infused with lemon! That’s truly a twist on a great thing!

*shamefully looks over at readers* Oh screw all of you!

Let’s get to the rumors. Behold the “Selling Out” Edition of the Down-Lo. Here’s the summary for those not down with OPP. These are rumors. They may be true. They may not be. The DLR helps to determine that, but nothing is for sure. Thus do us all a favor and don’t take this column more seriously than I am. No one ever does, but why risk it? Enjoy. I do.


This is the Down-Lo.

HARRY POTTER GARBAGE
I can’t believe I’m reporting on this. As a matter of fact I won’t. Time to break out the Phone-It-In-Machine. There’s no way I’m going out of my way to re-transcribe a Harry Potter rumor to you. That’s just unethical. So here it is untouched, with my comments spliced in for good measure.

Reports this morning suggest that EA is making another game based on Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, this time for PS2, Xbox and GameCube, which would appear at retail in early Autumn.

[sarcasm] Whoopie! [/sarcasm]

Although EA has already released games based on the Philosopher’s Stone, these only appeared on PC, PSone and Nintendo handhelds, as it was deemed more important to have the next-generation versions of the Chamber of Secrets better prepared for the following year.

Please forgive me. It’s another slow rumor day. How about we talk about something interesting between this drivel: So I was chillin’ in the 411 Forums the other day. It’s actually a pretty happening place now that Hyatte has been named a mod. (Heh. Had to throw that in to piss a few people off.) Some of the forumers got into a pretty heated discussion in the Games zone about which system had the best games/rpgs and of course some harsh words were thrown. Petty bickering as per the norm. Due to our forum goers having unbelievably impeccable taste however, they dragged mine and Alex Lucard’s names into the fray believing that if we were there we’d add order to chaos. It seems they hold us up as some sort of gaming super gurus down there, bless their little hearts. So anyway Alex actually shows up in the thread to blather about handhelds and pokemon nonsense as usual, but then he goes and tells everyone to stop sweating on us stating, “…neither myself or Bebito are super gurus about video games. We just really like them and to talk about them. We make mistakes and have our own opinions. Just having columns doesn’t make us any more right than anyone else.”

To this I say, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF LUCARD!

With the next Potter film – the Prisoner of Azkaban – not due until next year, the DVD of the most recent film – the Chamber of Secrets – already released, and the fifth book – the Order of the Phoenix – released last Saturday, without this move EA would be left with just Quidditch World Cup to harness Potter fandom this Christmas.

I am definitely a gaming alpha super guru and I’ve NEVER made a mistake! Don’t go telling our readers that we aren’t any more right than the rest of the common folk. We ARE more right than EVERYONE else! All of us! Even when we contradict each other!

The report, which appeared on UK games news website C&VG, is apparently based on a leaked release schedule (the game certainly doesn’t appear on EA schedules currently available to the press) and claims that the game is due out on September 26th in Europe, in plenty of time for the Christmas rush.

They also claim that UK-based Warthog could be handling development, based on the developer’s unannounced film license title, which bears both EA and WB (Warner Bros.) tags. Warthog is already collaborating with EA/WB on a game to coincide with the forthcoming Looney Tunes film, Looney Tunes Back In Action.

So I jump into the thread to try to make this point, but everyone ignores me and continues to talk about Pokemon and Hamsters! What the blood clot? Geez, what did you do, Alex? Now the damage had been done! If they figure it out for themselves fine, but you don’t pull back the curtain yourself to reveal that the Wizard of Oz is really some old fat guy who dresses badly and has a speech impediment! Blast it all…

Given that Potter mania is definitely Cleansweeping the land at the moment, with more than 1.8 million sales to date of the latest book in the UK alone, it wouldn’t be too surprising if EA were planning more than one game based on the franchise this Christmas. With “no comment” the blanket response to inquiries though, it looks like it’ll be a time and place of EA’s choosing – perhaps their games summit in San Francisco next month – that anybody finds out for sure.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, drink Pepsi Twist. It’s truly a refreshing twist on a great thing. *thumbs up, smile with teeth showing*
DOWN-LO RATING: 10

YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME
Quick class! Greatest strategy RPG series of all-time?
Shining Force.

Splendid! Greatest videogame mascot of all-time!
Sonic The Hedgehog.

Brilliant! Greatest 3d shooter series of all-time?
Panzer Dragoon.

Exactly! Greatest 2d fighter of all-time?
*lots of murmuring*

Ok. Greatest 2d fighter of all-time… made by Capcom?
Street Fighter Alpha 3.
Good, but name the best console version!
Sega Saturn.
Perfect! I thought I had you on that one.

Okay, finally… Greatest Rally racing series of all-time?
*dead silence*
Come on! Greatest Rally racing series of all-time!!
Um, Colin McRae?
NO! Spam it! Don’t you people know anything??

Say it with me. S-e-g-a R-a-l-l-y.

Remember that.

Keeping on that tangent for a sec, here’s some disturbing hearsay found in the most recent Japanese journal Kikizo. Rumors have been circulating for months now that a third installment in Sega Rosso’s hit coin-op series, Sega Rally, has been in the works coming to a arcade and then a console near you. Down-Lo Devotees should know the deal with all this already. But what none of us knew was that this highly anticipated racer has been complete for SEVERAL MONTHS. No. I’m not kidding. Sega Rally 3 has been done since early February of this very year! If that’s the case where in the bloody mary is it!?

As with all things, red tape is the holdup. According to a distribution partner for Sega’s arcade arm, Sega Rally 3 should have shipped some months ago, but has been held back by legal due to the, and I quote, “unforeseen licensing issues.” This is more than likely to do with the business of licensing real-life cars for the game.

Excuse my naiveness, but you’ve got be kidding me! It’s understood that getting licenses from manufactures to feature their cars in games can be ‘tricky’. Granted. But would someone please tell me how it’s possible that Gran Turismo can include something like 6 million vehicles (including freaking Rally carts) and have absolutely no problems with licensing each and every blasted one of them, while Sega gets held up with like what, 15 cars? Just release the bleeding thing already! I don’t care if you license Muppet Babies and have them ride around on ice-cream themed go-carts. As long as it handles and plays the same, I won’t complain! I swear!

At least we can unquestionably expect Sega Rally 3 to be in arcades and on store shelves by the end of this year. That’s a given well worth rejoicing over. Best of all (or worst depending on your perspective) initially only believed to be a PS2 exclusive, Sega’s new mulitplatform strategy has caused it to be considered for release on multiple home systems so that everyone gets a piece of one of the most critically acclaimed Rally games ever.

But in the meantime we wait.
DOWN-LO RATING: 8

(411 DOWN-LO OFFLLINE: STANDING BY…)


I told you guys I was desperate. We’ll be interrupting the Down-Lo this week to feature a couple of paid advertisement spots from our sponsors. We’ll be back right after this.

Please forgive me. I know I said I’d never do this again but…

*Precious Roy Jingle & Splat Sound Effect Is Played.*
*Intro Sifl & Olly.*

Olly: Hi folks, and welcome to the Precious Roy Home Shopping Network. Sifl, how many people do you know who smoke crack?
Sifl: Huh? I mean…yeah, man. You know the problems I’ve been having with… crack.

Olly: You’ve got some SERIOUS CRACK-SMOKING PROBLMES!!!!
Sifl: Hey, man. Watch it. My mom’s supposed to be watching this.

Olly: That’s my point exactly, Sifl. AMERICAN’S LOVE THEIR CRACK! Let’s face it. We’re steadily losing our entire country to this addictive drug every day. Why not try to profit from it?
Sifl: Dude, what the hell…?

Olly: It’s time to take a stand, Sifl. It’s time for everyone to JUST SAY NO… to empty wallets! It’s time for Precious Roy’s CRACK PATCH!!!

*Cut to a shot of a plastic hand waving over a fake rear end with a green patch on one cheek*

Olly: Just take a box of these patches down to the BAD part of town. You know what I mean. Puff puff. Cough cough. Just have your customers attach the patches to their behinds, and before they know it, they’ll be getting their daily high without ruining their lungs! It’s the best of both worlds! And it won’t be long before you’ll have hobos and prostitutes fighting over who can buy your patches first!
Sifl: Dude. This is just…do you hear what you’re saying?

Olly: What’s the matter, Sifl? Are you afraid someone’s going to replace your precious CRACK! Do you want the youth of America’s souls to be drained by this evil drug?
Sifl: This is unbelievable.

Olly: No, Sifl. What’s unbelievable is your unwavering support of drug dealers and crack pipe manufacturers. Let’s take some calls. Caller, go ahead.

Caller One: (A nasty looking woman appears) Heyyyy.

Olly: Hello, ma’am. What do you think about this product?
Caller One: Yeah, man. I love ’em. But I’m out. I’ll do anything for some more. ANYTHING.

Sifl: That’s it, man. I’m outta here. I don’t want anything to do with this. *Walks off set*

Olly: Ma’am, just stay on the line and one of our operators will work out a payment plan.
Caller One: Thanks, babe. I’m sure I can make it…worth your while.

Olly: Well folks, I guess Sifl had to go get his pipe. That just means that there’s ONE MORE PERSON OUT THERE WHO WANTS TO BUY YOUR CRACK PATCHES! Let’s take some more calls.
Caller Two: (A cop appears) Is this Olly of The Sifl and Olly show?

Olly: Uh….no. Why?
Caller Two: We’ve been getting reports that he’s been trying to sell illeagal substances on this show.

Olly: Yeah, uh…you just missed him. He left like, ten minutes ago.
Caller Two: That’s okay. We know where he lives. Thank you for your cooperation.

Olly: I…think it’s time to talk to Precious Roy. Precious?

Precious Roy: This is Precious Roy, and I don’t do drugs!

Olly: Exactly, Precious. What about the Crack Patches?

Precious Roy: Kiss my rocks! You guys are SUCKERS!

*Precious Roy, Precious Roy.*
*Makin’ lots of suckers out of girls and boys.

Um… on second thought. We’ll skip the rest of the commercials and hope I don’t get fired for just putting that up.

(411 DOWN-LO ONLINE: CONTINUE TRANSMISSION…)

TALES OF ELECTRONICS BOUTIQUE
I’ve mentioned this dozens of times before but I used to work at EB, short for Electronics Boutique. To all you college degenerates out there, if you ever want to make some quick cash and have the time of your game playing life doing it, you could have a worse experience than signing up at EB or any videogame store for that matter. All the employees do all day is sit on their humps behind the counter and play the free display copies of games that manufactures sent months in advance of their title’s releases. Some places even let you “sign-out” store titles so that you’ll get more familiar with the product. And the PAY you to do this! Ah, those were the days.

In any case, back when I used to work at EB it was customary of the staff to consistently look at the EB release list in the computer database. Not so much for being up on when things came out for the customers (I mean, who cares about the customers), but more to find out what new titles were on the horizon before anyone else did. The dates were all crap mostly, but we’d find out if Japanese games we’re heading to America before anyone else. And sometimes we’d even see a completely new title none of us had heard of. It was always loaded with surprises.

Well you how the old saying goes, “the more things change…”

Electronics Boutique’s website, EBgames.com, recently updated with a North American release date for Namco’s Tales of Symphonia on the Nintendo GameCube. Previously, no plans to localize this sweet-looking role-playing game were announced, but EB is currently listing it for an April release, 2004. Again that date is probably crap, but the fact that it’s in their computer at all means it IS coming.

If I get at least three emails from you good people requesting it, I’ll post a Preview of this soon to be classic Namco offering for 411. Just give me the word because I won’t write, if you people couldn’t give two craps about it. Even though I sure as heck do…
DOWN-LO RATING: 6

FINAL FANTASY REBORN AGAIN
I like Squaresoft. No really, I do! Ragging on them is fun but they’re not that bad. Sure they produce some stinkers, like FFVIII, and sure they steal gameplay ideas and then take credit for them, like with FF:Tactics, but every once in a while they pull out a Vargant Story or Final Fantasy IX. And believe it or not, every once in a while is good enough for me. We let Sega and even Capcom slip by with the same things all the time.

I didn’t always respond favorably to Square however. Back in the day I wouldn’t touch their games with a seven and half foot pole (well I did play Rad Racer but that doesn’t count, because who didn’t). While most of you fanboys were plowing your ways through Final Fantasys, I was happily sticking with the original: Phantasy Star. It wasn’t until a little overly hyped blockbuster going by the name of Final Fantasy VII came around that I finally started showing some interest. Alright interest is an understatement. FFVII ranks as #10 on my list of favorite rpgs of all-time so needless to say, Bebito was amused. Apparently quite a few of you feel the same, as the plethora of FFVII fan sites dwarfs that of any other Final Fantasy title. If there was ever a game that should have had a sequel made, it wasn’t Final Fantasy X, it was Final Fantasy VII. Alas, Square didn’t do such things as true FF sequels back then when the title was first produced. So it was no dice.

But they do now.

With the financial success of Final Fantasy X-2 proving huge, the first title on everyone’s lips to be remade was of course the aforementioned Final Fantasy VII. So much interest was generated that Squaresoft themselves had to publicly acknowledge it. At the time they said nothing was in the works, but that was then and this is now. Boys and girls, I can confirm to you that Final Fantasy VII-2 is almost unquestionably in the works! But not in the way you may have imagined. It’s not coming out on the PS2. Nope, not the GameCube or Xbox either. Three letters people:

PSP.

Rumor has it that Squaresoft is currently working on a sequel for Cloud and co. to be an exclusive for Sony’s new handheld system the PSP. And even more intriguing, it’s a launch title. Talk about your killer apps.

This story is further juiced up by the fact that in a press release sent out last week in Japan, Square-Enix stated that it will unveil at least one new title during a retail and distribution conference set for July 8th and 9th (Hey wait! That starts today!), in addition to outlining its global release schedule for the coming 12 months. We can expect that a new Dragon Quest game will be featured, as well as the illusive Final Fantasy XII, but there’s also a good chance we may get to hear about FFVII-2 to cap things off. Even if we don’t believe me when I say it’s coming. There’s too much money for Square-Enix to make off of it for it not to be. Don’t front, you all know you want it.

You may now go and wipe yourselves up.
DOWN-LO RATING: 5

And that’s the Down-Lo.

Thanks to GamesIndustry.biz, Spong.com, EGM, & GamesAreFun for today’s stories.


THINGS I FOUND THAT MAKE GREAT COLUMN FILLER
So what did you learn thus far today kids? If I did my job correctly, absolutely nothing. Thus because my column is devoid of all education I’ve decided, in the interest of meaningless filler, to teach you things that can be learned from paying attention to other more intelligent forms of entertainment. Music, novels, female mud wrestling, Iron Chef episodes, almost everything can teach you something. And that’s what I’m here to point out for you. Prepare yourself for enlightenment…. as partially stolen from some website that I forget the name of.

Lessons Learned From Horror Films:
* When leaving a group of friends to venture off into the night, never say, “I’ll be right back.” You won’t.
* Do not search the basement or attic, especially if the power is out.
* When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go alone. That’s just stupid.
* If you are searching for something that caused a loud noise and find out that it was just the cat, get the heck out. Expeditiously. Freddy, Jason, Chucky, or somebody with a machete is in there.
* Should appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits. Again, just get out.
* If you find a town that looks deserted, there’s probably a good reason for it. Do not stop and look around. Mind your own business.
*Don’t be a black male or female. Generally it’s just not a good idea.
* When running from a monster, DO NOT look back. You could have lost the thing by over 100 kilometers, but as soon as your turn around he’s gonna be right there.
*Speaking of running away, why do white people always have to trip and fall when their LIFE DEPENDS on them NOT tripping and falling? Keep your balance retard! You’re going to die!
* If you drop your flashlight into a hole, under a door, or anywhere holey that you have to reach into blindly, don’t. Your arm will most likely be eaten.
*If you’re a blond virgin that has sex for the first time during a period of mass murders sweeping through town, you’re good as dead. You’re also stupid. That was valuable time you could have spent LEAVING THE TOWN. And odds are you just had sex with the killer.


MY READERS ARE AWESOME AND I’VE GOT PROOF!
It’s my favorite part of the column people! No joke. What would an internet rumor gaming celebrity be without having millions of readers ogling over his work every week? Well he would be me. BUT, what would I be without having at least five to six of my readers ogling over my work every week?? A sad, sad, monkey man; that’s what. And I’m no monkey man! No sir!:

He’s Just A Family Guy
I can’t help it, your “Ooooo…” edition of the Dowl-Lo drives me into quoting Family Guy.

Peter: “Oh my GOD! My Alpha-Bits are trying to tell me something. ‘Ooooo’…”
Brian: “Those are Cheerios!”

And your opening had me laughing out loud… at work. Now I’m in deep shit (no, not really). ;) I’d like to hear how many fools you… well, fooled with that one. Though you DID feature the game in your column, but still… brilliant strategy! You didn’t need this to get my click, I always read you anyway.

And in the mood of your stupidity quote, I’ll share another one with you, in case you haven’t heard it before. I’ve somewhat adopted it as a catchphrase of mine given that I’m a gamer and work as a software designer:

“Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.”

…cracks me up everytime! :)

Looking forward to your next piece, as always. Take care.
— Serge Levesque / La Pocatiere, Canada

Nice quote. I’ll have to steal that one day.

Family Guy! It’s one the most underrated adult toons of all-time. I’d rather watch that then King of The Hill, fo shizzle. Hopefully it’s second life on Cartoon Network will be a long and prosperous. Especially because I’m finally becoming smart enough to get the jokes!

And it’s funny, that stunt I pulled last week didn’t really fool that many people. Guess everyone reads me no matter what! You all are smart people. *thumbs up, smile with teeth showing*

It Was A Swerve! Vince McMahon Was Behind The Whole Thing!
That was a pretty good idea with the Smach Down Here Comes The Pain swerve, since the new info on the game is released tomorrow.
— Ftwdevils2413

Yeah. I figured I’d get everybody all riled up. Thing is, nobody got mad about it! I was sure that everyone would see the part about me not having any Smackdown info, stop reading, and then hate mail me. That’s why I left a link to the SD! Here Comes The Pain Hot Topic at the top, as bait to click on for those who wouldn’t normally be reading the Down-Lo if it weren’t for the tagline. Then, after all the drones were gone, I’d give my regular readers what little info I had on it anyway. But it didn’t work! I got not one single piece of hate mail. Not one! Everyone was entertained rather than enraged. Drat it all! lol

Time For Some Anger Management
Widro: He’s got a point.

Ashish: SILENCE #2! I will not tolerate your insolence!

That might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read on this site. Seriously. Calling Widro “#2″… I can’t stop smiling.

And any column featuring the gruesome death of Ben Morse is the best column of the week anyway.

But I am tired of video game companies telling US what we want. In the interview with Mike Regan, he basically is saying “Yeah, we know what the players want, but it’s not what the company wants to implement. And what’s it matter? We can do as little as possible cause WWE FANS ARE SHEEP! YOU’RE ALL SHEEP! BAAAA FOR ME SHEEPY! I SAID BAAAAAAAAA!!!” And he’s right, cause the sheeps will buy it and then complain. Like they always do. Cause like I said last week, gamers are morons.

I for one have resisted the temptation to get any of the PS2 SmackDown games, and would encourage everyone else to do the same. But you know you all won’t. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. I’m an angry, spiteful man. And it doesn’t get any better when they start making real life video game bikinis for $150 and PEOPLE WILL BUY THEM! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People… make… me… angry…
— Jim Moore / Down-Lo Devotee

One day you’re going to burst a vein and die.

Agreed all the way however on wrestling gamers being sheep. Here’s a secret for ya. I’m not a big wrestling fan at all. I’m a gaming fan. So it’s kind of hard for me to be working where I am currently because all of my coworkers are marks. Especially because the site I formerly was involved in had a bunch of hardcore gamers writing away. Whatever. Chris Jericho’s cool at least. Bleh.

And the last good wrestling game was WWE No Mercy for the N64. Everything else up till now has been crap. Deal with it!

Don’t You Know Anything Bebito? Retard!
Bebito,
Just thought I’d write to say that you had a great column as always.
Thought I’d touch on a few things though:

I agree with you on the whole stupidity thing. That’s the only problem with 411Mania is that our audience is primarily wrestling fans, and the ones that actually enjoy our stuff is US. Hopefully that can change though.

I had heard that Treasure and Konami were working together, but I missed the fact that it would be a Gradius game. That’s sweet because I LOVED Gradius. My fave of the series was Life Force. I can’t wait to play this wonderful game.

I speak briefly on this in my news column tomorrow, but I’ll explain better here. Tokimeki Memorial is a game by Konami that falls into the Dating Sim genre, and is in fact, probably the best known in the series. In case you didn’t know, dating sims are basically games where you talk to a girl, and depending on what you say, here affection for you rises or falls. The ultimate goal is to get a girl to fall in love with you. The games are popular enough in Japan to spawn at least two typing games based on the series, but then again, so did House of the Dead. So because of its genre, the series will likely never be released in America. Atlus graced us with Thousand Arms, an RPG Dating Sim game, which was awesome, but I don’t think it did all that well here.

Oh, and Matt Hardin is crazy, but he’s awesome too. Gotta love the [pedro][/pedro] references.

Anyway, keep up the great work. Seeya.
— Lee Baxley / 411 Games

You must think I’m mentally retarded Lee! Of course I know what dating sims are! Just because I’m sure to stay seventy yards away from them at all times doesn’t mean I’m not in the know. Just wasn’t sure about that particular title. Thanks for the fill-in regardless.

And we’re not the only ones that enjoy our stuff man. At times our readership dwarfs the other Zones, sans Wrestling. We’ll get their. It’s just taking time for non-wrestling fans to catch on. Besides, it’s not fun to alienate your audience. That’s why wrestling fans are great! *thumbs up, smile with teeth showing*

Cheat! To Win!
Ah, GameFAN. I still remember the six-page spread they gave Sonic Adventure when it was just released in Japan. “Someone get the smelling salts!”

And thanks for the plugs in the column. I never thought I’d get as much exposure as I did, and I’ve only been part of the site for a month!

The 411 Sonic Team? Now THAT’S an organization that I’d love to be a part of! (It’s also the first time that I’ve been mentioned in the same sentence as Scott Keith. Which is a good thing and a bad thing at the same time, cause I don’t like Keith’s recaps very much…) Although, we might just have to start assigning the rights to Sonic Heroes reviews NOW as to avoid confusion when the game is released. I call X-Box!

Now I’m gonna have to do slight updates to my debut column! It’s going to be one listing tips and tricks for either recently reviewed games on 411, or just the recently released. I sent it in yesterday, but now I need to make changes. Oh well.

Again, thanks for everything. You guys at 411 are great.
— Alex Williams / 411 Games

Yo, I must say that I read your Cheat! column and it was a superb debut. Sweet way to fill up a niche too. We needed a strategy/cheat/codes guy because our old codes section was so rarely updated that the whole blasted thing fell apart. A regular article giving out the latest cheats is definitely the way to go. But man! You totally should have named your column, “Cheat 2 Win!” That would have been the greatest thing ever. You missed one ludicrous of an opportunity there. Perhaps it’s not too late?

And you’re wrong. Us 411 guys aren’t great. We’re remarkable. And don’t you ever forget it either, because that includes you now.

More Sonic Freaks Always Welcome
Heya Bebito! It’s NiktheGreek (the guy who dropped you an email about Sonic CulT a month or two ago). Well, since we last spoke I’ve exchanged emails with a certain Chris Pankonin, and I’m provisional 411 Games staff! (By provisional, it means that the reviews I put out need to be more friendly reading to the US audience than the one I first did). Anyhow, I’d have attempted to get in a review of Sonic Adventure DX, but living in the UK causes a problem with the release dates – it was reviewed on 411 a day before it came out here…

Also, my stance on Sonic Heroes has changed a bit – it could well be a good game. And also, although it’s on the PS2 (my current most-hated console) I can sympathize with Sega. As a fan, it’s a crushing experience to see it happen – probably even more so than seeing Sonic on a Nintendo system (which is strange). However, Sega are starting a big blitz on Sonic pushing in an attempt to gain profit, and the PS2 market is simply to big to ignore from a corporate standpoint. Hell, if Sony’s PSP overtakes the GBA then it’s all over for old-school companies, such is Sony’s hold on the market. With Sonic X and the new games, I can seriously see Sonic becoming big again. Sadly, Sega don’t seem to want to market Sonic to the old fans anymore, since they’re not enough to keep Sega afloat – meaning that if Sonic does regain popularity, it’ll change the whole series to the new design forever…

Anyhow, it’s good to be on board, and good to have other Sonic fans to relate to! My first review will go up soon so I hope you’ll have a chance to read it. Until then, may a winner always be you!
— Nik / 411 Games

I read nearly everything at 411 Games. Just to pick on people when they screw up. You will be no different. Welcome to the staff Nik!

Glad my Sonic Heroes Preview helped to convince you that the game would be sweetlishous. Check out the current EGM magazine’s feature of it for some more juice. It makes the wait even more unbearable.

And to rebut Mr. Lucard’s comments on Sonic being only relegated to 2d, I whole-heartedly disagree. Sonic is like Mario, Zelda, and Rayman. No matter which way you partake of them, it’s all like fine sweet wine. No matter how many dimensions you add or take away.


Short on time, so new DLV this week. Sorry for the abrupt stop. What can I say I’ve been busy. Peace yall. See you next week!

(411 DOWN-LO OFFLINE: END TRANSMISSION…)