411 Games Rumor Down-Lo 03.18.03

411 Games Rumor Down-Lo 03.18.03

411 Games Quote of The Week
I swear, anyone who tells you getting into America as a legal immigrant is a problem has never tried being an American or Japanese citizen attempting to enter England. The laws are basically structured to keep them out…! This is a country that lets Al-Quieda members into the country on Asylum pleas and then gives them free homes and money.
— Alex Lucard (Retrograding 03.14.03)

(411 DOWN-LO ONLINE 03-18-03: BEGIN TRANSMISSION…)

Hi, I’m Bebito Jackson, and I want to know is there another word for synonym?

Here are some Random Thoughts. Hopefully you’ll get to know me better from this. Or at the least the me that I trying to pawn off as the real me to my internet audience…

This is only my humble opinion but CHRIS JERICHO IS THE GREATEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER IN THE HISTORY OF THE BUISNESS AND TRIPLE H ISN’T EVEN WORTHY OF EATING THE GOLD PLATED NUGGETS THAT ARE CHRIS JERICHO’S EXCREMENTS!! JERICHOLLIC FOR LIFE BABY!! BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

Wait! I mean err… um… Jericho’s match with RVD at King of The Ring wasn’t up to snuff and may be considered one of the worst of his career. And, uh… that Undertaker guy is holding everyone in the business down. Yeah….

No really, I’m not a mark!!

*sigh*

Every week I watch American Idol religiously, despite the fact that it is widely regarded as “gay” to do so. Odds are that all of you secretly watch the thing too. *looks suspiciously at reader* Don’t lie to me. You know deep down inside, you’re secretively rooting for that big black guy to win. I know I am.

Sega will forever be known as my favorite software developer, despite the fact that it is widely regarded as “gay” to think so.

Speaking of which, Sonic The Hedgehog is still THE MAN. Just wish he’d stop trying so hard to be so “cool”. Then maybe he’d stop making crappy games with bad 80s rock music.

Alright, I’ll admit it. That I Wanna Fly theme for Tails from the first Sonic Adventure did kind of rule. I actually used to go to the Sound Test Screen and play the whole theme on loop cranked up on my TV for hours at a time. Someone else out there HAS to feel the same way on that one, right? Right?? *crickets chirping*

This was a bad idea.

Perfectly content to play Sega Saturn, I never really felt it was necessary to own a PS1. Never would I have bought that overrated piece of crap (yes you read me right) if it wasn’t for the greatest music game ever made, Bust-A-Groove. (Nobody could stop my Shorty!) Other than that, Final Fantasy VII was the only other thing worth owning and that alone couldn’t justify my purchasing the system… at least not until much later in the console’s life cycle. NiGHTS, Burning Rangers, Legend of Oasis, X-Men Vs. Street Fighter, Shining of The Holy Ark, Virtua Fighter 2, Sega Rally, Dragon Force, Fighting Vipers, Shining Force III, Saturn Bomberman, and Panzer Dragoon (all of them), not to mention dozens more were enough to keep this gamer happy. Good memories. Bad social life.

“Blacks coming out of the hood to cause tons of civil unrest and wacky situations in upper white America” movies are driving me crazy. Sick and tired of it. If I see Chris Rock or Queen Latifa teaching one more un-hip rich white person how to get “jiggy with it”, I’m going to begin randomly beating up my neighbors! It’s not to be confused however with the mismatched buddy movie, which conversely is always a favorite. Match up some Chinese kung-fu looking dude who can barely speak English with a loud mouthed ignorant black comedian or rapper and it’s instant hilarity baby! Booya! I dare you to let them have Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and DMX all in the same movie and not go see it. I DARE you.

Xenosaga is incredible. Period. It’s as close as you’ll ever get to playing an anime. If you don’t own it yet and you like RPGs then you’re just stupid. And if you don’t own a PS2 to play it on… you’re again stupid. Buy the system, and then buy the game. Don’t blow this like the Shenmue screwup.

Deep down inside I truly believe that 50% of all videogamers are simply pathetic. Whether it is the inability to admit to blatantly obvious truths or stubbornness towards letting go of preconceived prejudices, gamers (and I do only mean about half) may be the least intelligent and useless creatures on earth, right behind comic book shop salesmen. Case in point, during the launch of Sega Dreamcast at my old stomping grounds Electronics Boutique, a “devoted” Sony fan began yelling at the 400+ buyers lined outside the store that they were “traitors”, citing they’d be sorry after the PS2 launched. We had to escort the fool away. Three weeks after the PS2 launched, that same retarded customer was disappointed with the system’s lackluster launch lineup and forked over the dough for a Dreamcast after missing out on over a whole year’s worth of gaming goodness. It was a shame. Not until it hit him squarely in the head did he realize that over anticipating a system almost a year and a half away was not only stupid, but also unbeneficial for his own gaming needs. All of this due to the stupidest fanboy concept ever created: System Loyalty. Idiot. That MTV special: I’m A Gamer, made us all look akin to complete virgin-like spazzes, but the sad awful truth is that quite a few of us are. May we all be careful that we monitor our own levels of videogame loserness, lest we allow ourselves to sink deep into the pit of the fanboy catacombs. As a matter of fact… let’s hurry this up. I have to make love to my wife and go outside to see what the sun looks like.

Behold the “Final Fantasy X-2III + 4 – 5X” edition of the Down-Lo. Here’s the deal: The higher the DOWN-LO RATING the higher the odds of the story coming true (scale 1-10). As always these are just rumors (which is why you read me in the first place), so don’t go around stating this garbage as facts to your gullible friends. Enjoy. I do.


This is the Down-Lo.

SEGA SEQUEL EXPLOSION
Recently Kikizo Games conducted an interview with Sega legends Yu Suzuki, Tetsuya Mizuguchi, Hisao Oguchi, and Noriyoshi Oba. Yes, I know it’s a mouth full. Tons of info was let loose, but among the most exciting was confirmation of a couple of hot sequels in the works. Well actually only one title was officially confirmed, the others were just hinted at.

The first sequel insinuated at was from Mizuguchi. When asked about doing a new Rez he responded, “Maybe, yes! In terms of sales figures, I wasn’t satisfied with Rez, but we should give Rez more time. I need to trust myself.” I don’t know about that Mizuguchi. Rez was a great game and all… but perhaps it’s time start making games that people actually buy. Just saying.

And Mr. Oguchi seemed interested in doing another title in the cult-popular series Virtual On. Bebito is ALL for that. While I wasn’t one of the gaming fanatics that dropped all that moolah for the import Dreamcast twin sticks, I was among the thousands of gamers that got on their hands and knees and thanked Activision for buying the rights from Sega of Japan to bring VOOT over to the states. Still wish Sega had the testicular fortitude to bring the thing over themselves with full SegaNet support like it had in its overseas counterpart… but I’ll take what I can get.

Yu Suzuki also had a little bit of dirt to spill concerning the GameCube exclusive, Virtua Fighter Quest. “Well, in Virtua Fighter 4 it’s realistic figures – the ratio of the size of the head to the body, is one eight. But for Virtua Fighter Quest, we’re making it one to five. There will be some RPG elements, but when it’s finished it might be a little closer to an adventure game. We only started the planning stages last summer so I’m not really sure how it’ll turn out yet!” Hmm. Large headed Virtua Fighter characters? Does anyone remember Virtua Fighter Kids for the arcade and Sega Saturn? Suzuki also used this disproportionate style in that game which was targeted at a much younger audience than the “normal” Virtua Fighter player. Conceivably this approach may be duplicated in VFQ to try to appeal to what’s considered an equally as young GameCube audience. We shall see.

Finally, to cap off what was a very enlightening interview, it was confirmed that Skies of Arcadia 2 was definitely in development. I can now rest easy at night. Now all we need to do is get them to admit to a NiGHTS sequel and then maybe we would be on to something…
DOWN-LO RATING: 8

XENOSAGA TIDBIT
This plug is long overdue. Not too long ago, I sent an email to one of the guys at www.gamesarefun.com praising their excellent efforts to bring out some of the latest and most accurate gaming news and rumors around. While I never got a response back, that doesn’t change how great a site they have over there, coming only second to MagicBox in my book. I’m sending out thanks to them as I’ve done in the past, for this week’s rumor tidbit.

As I’ve stated before, Xenosaga is one of the best rpgs I’ve ever played despite the fact that currently I’m only 4 hours into what will be about a 80 hour adventure. Thus I will heavily cover any gossip regarding this excellent series. An anonymous tip has revealed what may be the name for Namco’s second installment in the Xenosaga series. ‘Titled Xenosaga Episode 2: Der Aufstied Des Gottes, the game will continue the story started with the recent Namco release, Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille Zur Macht. The subtitle means “The Rise of God.”‘

Currently the next installment is scheduled to come out this October in Japan, so we may be able to expect a US release in time for or just after the holiday season. All info is unconfirmed as usual, but the site seemed pretty confident in the story.
DOWN-LO RATING: 7

IS THERE ANOTHER ONE OR NOT!?
Everyone’s running to me screaming, “Bebito! Yoshi what’s his name said there’s not going to be anymore Final Fantasys! This can’t happen to me! I have no life and my job is soo unfulfilling! What am I going to do!!” Now just settle down everyone. While I can’t help you with that job and life thing, the other issue you brought up can easily be dissected and analyzed. Please remain calm. Amidst a sea of confusion take comfort in knowing that we’ll sort through this, you, me, and the Down-Lo. Besides, it’s just Final Fantasy. It’s not like somebody said no more Shining Force.

Here’s what has everyone in a tizzy. Earlier this week in an interview conducted by a Japanese web site, Final Fantasy X-2 producer Yoshinori Kitase said that a Final Fantasy X-3 is very unlikely. Then he goes on to say the words that made every Squaresoft freak pee in their pants. “There is no pressure within Square to develop a new sequel in the Final Fantasy series at the moment.” This followed Kitase-san specifically saying that no work had started on any project called Final Fantasy XIII.

Ok… it sounds bad, but before we go any further, let’s take a closer look at what exactly was said. First he stated that FFX-3 is “unlikely”. Not completely out of the question… just “unlikely”. Now why did he say that? Because Square has NEVER in the history of the series done a sequel like this before, that’s why. They had no idea how it would be received critically or more importantly, so they weren’t actively looking to try another stunt like this again. But they didn’t totally rule it out either, just in case it was successful.

Second, just because they haven’t “started” on any project specifically called Final Fantasy XIII yet, doesn’t mean it’s not happening down the line. Is it just I, or is everyone forgetting that SquareSoft is just PUMPING out the games lately? Let’s see, we have Final Fantasy X-2 and the online only Final Fantasy XI still slated for North America release, Final Fantasy Chronicles for GameCube on the way, a new Saga Frontier, and Final Fantasy XII in the beginning stages of development. That’s a pretty full plate, even if you don’t take into account that they are merging with Enix and now have their entire game library and releases to go along with the aforementioned titles to worry about. Remember, the resources needed to make ONE Final Fantasy alone are tremendous, so imagine balancing all of those games TOGETHER. Hence perhaps it’s not so much that they’re not making FFXIII, but rather they want to finish everything else up before they even go there. Believe it or not, that makes sense.

And furthermore… *rumor monkey taps Bebito on the shoulder* Huh? Not now monkey. I’m in the middle of a rant. Furthermore… *rumor monkey hands Bebito a piece of paper* What’s this? *reads paper* Oh, man… you’ve got to be kidding me… lol…

Check this out. Spong.com reports that ‘SquareSoft Japan, has triumphantly announced that it has shifted at retail over 1.2 million copies of Final Fantasy X-2, the pseudo sequel to the phenomenally successful sequel FFX. Amazingly these sales are attributed to just one day on general release.’ According to the report this was MUCH greater than Squaresoft or even retailers could have ever expected. Here’s the kicker though. ‘Reports from Japan breaking yesterday morning cite SquareSoft president Yoichi Wada as claiming that the firm will now be making another sequel to Final Fantasy X. The game originally the “tenth” in the Final Fantasy series now looks to be spawning a series of its own.’ LOL! “Unlikely” my petoot. Good job monkey. *rumor monkey swing away*

So there you have it. While it’s still rumor and such, it’s a pretty safe bet that not only is FFXIII coming out, but also ANOTHER sequel to FFX. So next time someone says something outrageous like, “We’re not making further installments of our hit franchise that generates millions of dollars for our company anymore,” remember these words: Don’t. Believe. The Hype. The Down-Lo Rating is high, because there WILL be more Final Fantasys. Period. So consider yourselves comforted.
DOWN-LO RATING: 9

And that’s the Down-Lo. Only three this week. There was a bunch of other crap that happened, but it was absolutely NOTHING you would have cared about. Stuff like companies switching names and developing shareware garbage. You really didn’t want to know. I’ll see if I can get ya more dirt next week. Promise.


(411 DOWN-LO MAIL: YOU HAVE 2 UNREAD MESSAGES…)

I crave more reader feedback. “Write me, or I’ll run for President.” Bet only a handful of you know who said that.

RETURN OF THE DRAGON
Heh. That Lawyer thing is almost as funny as it is sad. I think the funniest part is the fact that TVG took down the column. You know, I never even once took a peak at the column. I just figured, why buy the milk when you got a fat cow; pumping out fresh milk at home. I enjoy the original, I don’t need to see the clone.

Anyway, so what do you think about The Bill Gates armada and Sony doing their own hand-held thing? Do you think they have a chance in hell at giving The big N some serious competition? Or should they be focussing their time and money on something more feasible, like a time machine or an everlasting gobstopper?
(FILE FROM… greydragon)

More crap went down with the whole TVG.com thing, but I’m so apathetic and frankly bored towards the whole ordeal that I’m just hoping that they can get over me so that I don’t have to hear about them anymore. As Chris Pankonin pointed out to me, all they’re doing at this point is trying to get popular off of my name, so I’ll leave it be.

As for Sony and Microsoft entering the handheld markets… believe it or not, I do think they have a chance. Maybe not so much Microsoft, but Sony could seriously put a dent in Nintendo’s handheld wallet and they know it too. Imagine how many gamers out there wanting to be “cool” would run out and buy a portable mini-Playstation on brand name alone. If you think about it… that’s what people did when the PS2 first came out. Come on now, let’s be honest. Nobody actually bought that machine for its launch lineup.

HEY! I REMEMBER YOU!
Hey, Bebito. Down-Lo continues to be some entertaining shit, BTW. And, as a former 411Games employee (My name disappearing from the list of employees was a great clue, don’t you think. I do kind of like the title. Better than unemployed teenager with no life), I can honestly say you kick my ass each week…and most other asses.

Anyways, here’s a tip for Mother 3, straight from the major Eartbound website (There’s also a petition for the game, up to 31,000 signatures) http://starmen.net/mother3/news/

Here, there’s word of Three new Mother (Earthbound Titles). These are rumored to be ports of Mother 1 and Mother 2 (GBA) as well as a GameCube release for Mother 3, a cancelled N64 project. These rumors stem from rumors from other sites, word from industry insiders (John Ricciardi, who wrote one of the three Super Mario Sunshine reviews for Electronic Gaming Monthly is one of these) who claim that multiple Mother games are in development, and word from Shigeru Miyamoto that, in fact, HAL Labratories (Who was originally working on Mother 3 for the N64) has greatly increased its number of projects. OBviously, this has lead to word of a GameCube version of Mother 3. In the classic words of Bebito (I’m sure you’ve said it at some point): Wait ’til E3.

Well, later days.
(FILE FROM… Myles McNutt / Former 411 Writer)

Behold ladies and gentlemen, Myles McNutt is still alive. I know I couldn’t believe it either. He summed it up quite nicely there. Pretty reliable stuff on the Mother sequel because the source initially dates back to the previously well-mentioned www.gamesarefun.com. Anyone who remembers my “Nintendo’s Big Four” rumor from waaaaay back in the day, knows that I mentioned this title already along with the recently confirmed remake for Metal Gear Solid. Always glad to hear updates about how I’m right. Thanks for the compliments Myles. I really appreciate it.

(411 DOWN-LO-MAIL: SIGNING OFF…)


THE DOWN-LO RIP-OFF
It’s been a while hasn’t it? Only old-school readers remember the Down-Lo Rip-Off. Basically, I steal ideas from other columnists from within 411Mania and generally improve on or butcher said ideas (normally the latter). It’s only fair, seeing as everyone’s doing it to me…

This time, it’s Bryan Berg that’s getting ripped. He has a neat way of plugging the hard work that us err… hardworking writers do. It’s a Metal System, where his favorite for the week gets the Gold, second favorite gets the Silver, and last the Bronze. Then he’s nice and plugs all the rest of the dorks that didn’t make top 3. I’ll be stealing the Metal System idea, but screw the rest of em’ that didn’t make the best of the best. Try harder next time losers! (DISCLAIMER: By “losers” Bebito Jackson means respected colleagues and talented co-workers.)

GOLD (Retrograding 03.14.03) Not only does he get the 411 Games Quote of the week plug, but he gets this one as well! *pat on the back* Good for you Alex! This time Mr. Lucard delves into the world of videogame Customer Service/Consumer Relations, taking a detailed look at how soon and how accurate companies get back to your technical questionings. Want to know why we’re the best around? Read this and marvel.

SILVER (Scott Keith Smackdown Diary – Part 1) The Scotsman is something of an oddity here in the Games Zone. He shows up at random, doesn’t say “hi” to anybody, and uses more profanity than Ron Yip after he’s played Dragonball Z: Budokai for PS2. While good old Scotty is actually around though he sure makes for an entertaining read. This “diary” of the career of Scott Keith as a wrestler inside a WWE:SmackDown! videogame is something that needs to be seen to be believed. One of the funniest things that I’d never admit to reading in public. Check it out.

BRONZE (Hump Day Otaku News Report 03.12.03) It was a close one between Joseph Stanley and his excellent Weekend Wipe-Up (possibly the best overall News Report in the Games Zone) and the stunning debut of Lee Baxley. In the end, Lee gets the bronze because… yup, you guessed it. That awesome name. How can you not read a column with “Hump” in the title? Besides the column’s name, Lee Baxley’s work is unique in that in addition to traditional gaming news, he covers the one area that no one else on the site touches… anime. Welcome to the family bro.


THE DLV OF THE WEEK
Another heavy hitter this time. Here’s the trailer for the game that will most “unlikely” have a sequel, Final Fantasy X-2. Recommended for broadband users, because this 52-Meg masterpiece is a pretty big download. Good for you guys reading this at work *winks at reader*:

(DLV OF THE WEEK: Final Fantasy X-2)

I know I said that there would be a Down-Lo Spotlight this go round but apparently I lied. Not enough time. So look forward to something next week. Or not. Whatever. Until next time, read all the other guys. And somebody drop me a line for once. Peace I’m out.

(411 DOWN-LO OFFLINE: END TRANSMISSION…)