411 Games Rumor Down-Lo 02.25.03

411 Games Rumor Down-Lo 02.25.03
411 Games Quote of The Week
So, now that I’ve talked about everything BUT the game, let’s get on with the review, shall we?
— Lee Baxley (PlayStation2 Review: .hack)

(411 DOWN-LO ONLINE 02-25-03: BEGIN TRANSMISSION…)

Hi, I’m Bebito Jackson, and I’m addicted to playing The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time all over again. Why couldn’t I have gotten addicted to something less time consuming and easier to get off of. Like crack.

Where to begin, where to begin… It’s been a fascinating week and there’s way too much crap to yap on about, so I’ll try to keep it short:

Claire Flynn Boyle from 411 Music invited me over to her Bubblegum Complex column last week for a rousing interview on pop culture and music related videogames. We had a ball, as always when Claire and I get together. Read it if only to hear about my sad, sad former secret love of the Spice Girls. The band that is, not the game or music.

Bryan Berg replaces Joseph Stanley as the new guy in the News Repot section. His new column, amusingly entitled Thank God It’s Thursday News Report, has a colorful format and makes for a nice addition to our lineup. I’m unsure of exactly what happened to Eric Williams and his old Thursday News Report column. So we can only assume that he is dead. In any case, within Bryan’s most recent work he publicly challenges me to a “Who Believes They Suck More” contest. What the blood clot that is, I don’t know; but it sounds like fun. Let me put it to you this way Bryan, when your hate mail starts to stack up to the high heavens and Jason Masters begins discrediting you every three weeks (that’s how often he writes), then you get back to me. Until then I’m the king of suck much to delectation of my wife, seeing as how she likes me sucking for some strange reason. *thumbs up, smile with teeth showing*

And finally, just recently Ron Yip pointed out something he found that in his words, “looks suspiciously like your column.” “Sheah right,” I thought, “No way anyone would copy, let alone read my silly rumor writings.” Still, I checked it out and sure enough the guy has me copied all the way down to my rating at the end of each rumor. At first I was laughing my behind off that someone would actually copy my sucky column (I even posted as such in his article), but later sensing that I might have been ripped off I was none too happy. Alex Lucard though, never the voice of reason until now, related to me that he’s been copied word for word in freaking EGM before (I knew you couldn’t trust those guys!). And according to him, “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” So whatever… send in the clones. For those curious to see how EVERY videogame gossip column will look in five years (as per my outline), check out totalvideogames.com’s rendition of The Down-Lo Wanna-Be. And yes… to answer your question, I do suck worse than this guy does.

Behold the “Donatello” edition of the Down-Lo. Yall know what’s up: The higher the DOWN-LO RATING the more “umph” these babies have (scale 1-10). As always these are just rumors (which is why you read me in the first place), so let’s get down and dirty boys and girls. Enjoy. I do.


This is the Down-Lo.

CAPCOM’S SECRET PLANS FOR 2003
For those who don’t know, my new favorite magazine is GMR. The brainchild of entertainment software chain Electronics Boutique, GMR is as close to a modern-day GameFAN that we’ll ever get. GMR’s writers and editors simply have a passion for the videogames they report on and it shows. And while it’s true that Ziff Davis has nearly 9/10 of the game mags on the market today, this particular Ziff Davis publication stands out from the pack with its own flavor and overwhelming charm that makes you feel like you have a close bond to each and every person on its staff. I can not recommend this one enough ladies and gentlemen. Pick up, on site.

While GMR does not have an official rumor section per se (which let’s face it, is what I really care about anyway), they do have detailed news bits that unwittingly incorporate gaming gossip within them. In their latest issue, they go onto to specify exactly what Capcom’s plans for the 2K3 may entail. Well here’s the scoop for you guys, knowing that you all would be interested because… well it’s freaking Capcom! Who wouldn’t be interested?

First off, one of the more quiet hits from last year, the remarkable Maximo, is going to have a sequel in the latter part of this year. Nice to see that Capcom is keeping a good game series going. Not that they’ve had any trouble with that in the past. (Just how many MegaMan games ARE there?) But I was a bit worried with Maximo, seeing as how this was done in their largely “untested” workshop over at Capcom Digital Studios. When it comes down to it though, money talks because Maximo was enough of a monetary success to give Digital Studios another go at it. Good news for all of us red hearted boxers loving fetish freaks out there.

Word is also in that ‘the former Alone In The Dark developer, Darkworks, might be in cahoots with Capcom and working on a top-secret new project.’ This as of now “secret” game is to revealed at E3 this Spring. So what could the creators of the Resident Evil series and the Alone In The Dark series both be up to? I’m going out on a limb here, but let’s assume it’s some type of survival-horror game. Call it intuition. Call it a hunch. Call it plain obvious. But it’s kinda ironic though, eh? The company that invented survival-horror joins forces with the company that stole it from them along with all the financial prosperity and critical acclaim that went along with it. Talk about your odd couple. Guess Darkworks’ motto is, “If ya can’t beat em’, leech off em.”

The credibility of GMR has yet to be determined but as stated before they are part of the Ziff Davis network of magazines so put their info under good authority. Look for all of these projects soon.
DOWN-LO RATING: 8

I SPY
Let’s see here… *looks through rumor notes* Err, sorry folks. This is completely unprofessional of me, but I’m trying to clean out all the old rumors I have laying around. I know I left it around here somewhere. *rumor monkey taps Bebito on the shoulder* Huh? Oh, hey rumor monkey. What’s up? *rumor monkey hands Bebito a piece of paper* And what could this be? Oh! My missing rumor! Thank you so much little guy. *rumor monkey swings away* He’s a good monkey. *Bebito steps in monkey crap* Aaaah! What the @$#%! Bad monkey! Bad, bad monkey!

*shakes crap from shoes* According to IGN’s Off The Record, Angel Studios, which has a whole new coat of paint now that they’ve recently been bought and renamed Rockstar South, is ‘hard at work on numerous games for a slew of publishers, from Capcom’s Red Dead Revolver to (several) others… And one was just learned about. Apparently, Angel Studios is working on Midway’s next Spy Hunter, which is tentatively due at year’s end.’

Wait. You mean to tell me that I stepped in monkey poo for a freaking Spy Hunter rumor?
DOWN-LO RATING: 7

RADIANT REVIVAL
Our own 411 Games equivalent of Donatello from the Ninja Turtles, Frederick Badlissi, clued me onto our next rumor for the week. Frederick is the self-proclaimed conscious for all of us gamers out there. In his column, appropriately named The Gamer’s Conscious, he takes semi-weekly looks at the shoddy merchandise manufactures try to pawn off as legitimate gaming accessories. Great stuff. You can read his most recent work HERE.

Good, now that the shameless shilling is over and I’ve repaid my debt, we can get to the juice.

Spong.com (what kind of hopped up on crack kind of name is that?) reports that a GBA remake to the incredible beyond words shooter, Radiant SilverGun, will be coming down the pike due to ‘the success and acclaim enjoyed by its last 2D shooter Ikaruga.’

‘It is known that several larger publishers have looked at releasing a GBA version (of Radiant SilverGun) over the past few months, following Infogrames signing Ikaruga for the GameCube. It is believed that Infogrames spoke to the team about the possibility of linking GC Ikaruga with a possible portable version of Radiant SilverGun.’ Exciting news indeed.

I remember the first time I played RSG on my Sega Saturn, oh so many years ago. Back then shooters were on Bebito’s hated list of game genres along side music games, sports titles, and 2d overhead action adventure games that didn’t star Link, Spirit King of Oasis Leon, or Rygar. Imagine my surprise when three hours had elapsed and my sense of shooter loathing hadn’t set in yet. Treasure accomplished something that no other shooter up until that time had done. Made me want to own it. For that alone it’s the best of its kind of all time.

Keep a look out for the GBA remake. It’s likely to happen. And thousands of other gamers will be looking for it as well. Why should you be any different? (Besides, you guys all know you’re just posers trying to be taken seriously as true hardcore gamers. Ranting about Radiant SilverGun will get you all well on your ways.)
DOWN-LO RATING: 6

IT’S NOT THE SIZE THAT COUNTS, IT’S HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE
GameIndustry.biz got wind of a rumor, ‘which was reported on the website of UK magazine PC Pro.’ There it cites “numerous well placed industry sources” as the originators of the story that Microsoft will be redesigning the Xbox in time for E3 to address the most talked about complaint of the console: the fact that it’s about the size of two GameCubes and a PS2 put together.

Allegedly Microsoft will be making a smaller version of the Xbox. The skeptics out there however, point out several reasons why this may be as far-fetched an idea as we’ve ever heard. ‘Much of the hardware used inside the Xbox is identical to PC hardware; the console uses off-the-shelf components for its hard drive and DVD drive, and requires significant space for the cooling fins on its Intel-manufactured Pentium processor.’ Basically the thing needs all the room it can get. It is after all, “the most powerful gaming machine ever!”

The article goes on to speculate that Microsoft may have jumped on the idea of ‘using slimline laptop-style components, and possibly even a laptop-style processor which would create less heat and thus require smaller cooling fins.’ Makes sense. There’s one big drawback with that solution unfortunately. ‘This would, however, increase the unit cost of the console – and thus Microsoft’s loss per unit.’ Then again, Microsoft never worried about making money with the Xbox before, so why start now?

‘Beyond reducing the size of the console, a number of other aesthetic changes are expected – including flattening the top of the system in order to allow it to be stacked with other consoles or audio-visual equipment. The new Xbox would also be expected to ship with the Xbox Live software pre-installed.’

It all sounds pretty reliable. I’ve been hearing a buzz that this was under works for quite some time way before this bit of info came along. E3 sounds like the perfect time to show it (as seems the theme for this week’s Down-Lo), but the only thing I’m wondering about is if it will actually make it there on time.
DOWN-LO RATING: 6

And that’s the Down-Lo.


(411 DOWN-LO MAIL: WELCOME BEBITO! YOU HAVE 5 UNREAD MESSAGES…)

Let’s jump right into it, shall we?

THE LAZIEST CONTESTANT
Even though i am snowed in and bored as hell, im not looking for the answeres to all those questions!! IM NOT EVEN GONNA SPEL RIGHT (answeres! haw!)

if im the only one to reply to the contest, gimme pirize! haw!
(FILE FROM… Mike V)

Heh. One of the first responses I got back from last week’s Down-Lo Contest. The sad thing is… he would have actually won if I didn’t get any other responses.

COPPING OUT
Thank you for your interest in the Phantom. I have added your name to our media database. We are not releasing any further information at this time. We will be shooting to unveil at E3. We are working hard to meet our deadlines.
(FILE FROM… NAME WITHELD / InfiniumLabs)

I had been talking back and forth with a gentleman from Infinium Labs for some time now. He agreed to answer some questions that I had regarding their new “super-console”, the Phantom, in a future Down-Lo Spotlight. We finally coordinated ourselves, got everything together, and I sent him the questions. Then I get this PR blather of a response back from him. He totally copped out on me. Guess he freaked out after seeing the questions I sent him (I tend not to take it easy on people). I’m not gonna bad-mouth him yet because there’s still a chance he might come around and do the interview… but if not…

DISGRUNTLED CANADIAN
Hey Bebito, cry me a river about all the snow you got there. Why don’t you come up north for a Canadian winter, and then talk to me! The average temp is like -15 and last year it snowed at the begining of JUNE. I mean jesus, I always thought that the rumors about your sucking were false, however, you really do suck.
(FILE FROM… Langer)

Don’t you Canadians get free health care? So if and when you break your back after shoveling all that snow, at least you’ll be well taken care of. Us broke Americans pay our own health bills down here… thus we can whine about the crappy weather all we want. So there.

BUFFY ADDICTED
Hey.

First of all, congrats on getting a place on the 411 Team. Now with the ass kissing out of the way (We hope), let’s get to my questions.

Buffy for the XBox is a great game, it offers a challenge to everyone. From everyone who likes to stay and fight, to even the kid who gets scared of the game baddies and decides to have their character run away (Both of which can be used for a certain part in the Bronze level). But what I would like to know is any rumors on the next Buffy Game, I have heard a few floating around through Friends and they’re things like:

You play Willow for a little bit Faith, and maybe even Kendra The Mayor, Kaistoas and Mr.Trick?

Basically it all depends on what Characters are / are not in the next Game. I was wondering if you know any more rumors, and facts if possible, about the next Buffy Game and if you’d care to share them? (Come on, with all that ass kissing I did earlier :P)

Thanks.
(FILE FROM… Troy S Hepple)

I have absolutely no official details on what would be in a Buffy sequel, if there even would be one in the first place. Of course, I know that you’re not satisfied with that. So here’s something that at least sort of alludes to there being another game down the line. It’s taken from UGO.com, and it’s an interview with the game’s producer, Fox Interactive’s David Stalker:

Q: Are you satisfied with the translation from show to game? Do you feel the spirit of the show made it into the finished product?
David Stalker: I am more than pleased with how the game turned out. I think it really is a high water mark for license-based games. It looks, sounds and plays great. Naturally there are things that we wish we could have done that we weren’t able to do but, at the end of the day, I like to think that we made something that truly embodies Buffy!
Q: The inevitable question, any plans for a sequel?
David Stalker: Why on Earth do you think we would do something crazy like that? :-)

Judging from that last statement and futher testimony later in the interview that they were very pleased regarding fan response with their efforts, we can pretty much expect another one of these babies down the road. To read the entire interview (which was VERY interesting) and further details about the current game click HERE. Hope that helped Troy.

BELATED SUBMISSION
Hey I was going through your archives and I took your Console Compatibility Quiz and here are my answers.

1.c 2.a 3.b 4.b 5.a 6.a 7.a 8.a 9.a 10.b
11.b 12.b 13.a 14.a 15.c 16.b 17.a 18.b 19.c 20.c

Later.
(FILE FROM… Tack Angel)

Crikey. It’s been such a long stinking time since someone wanted one of these done. Guess you were looking through the archives for the contest and stumbled upon it eh, Tack? Well far be it from me to disappoint one of my readers.

(DOWN-LO SUPER COMPUTER ONLINE: CONSOLE QUIZ RESULTS DISPLAYING)

****

(TACK ANGEL: LOCATION UNKNOWN -)

(MOST COMPATIBLE CONSOLE: NINTENDO GAMECUBE – 64%)

(TITLES SUITABLE FOR SUBJECT: Super Mario Sunshine; Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicle; The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Walker)

(SECONDARY CONSOLE: MICROSOFT XBOX – 35%)

Look, Tack. If you don’t already own a GameCube, what the heck are you waiting for? You want it. You know you want it. And now I know you know you want it. Get the machine already, and pick up a free game with it while you’re at it.

****

(411 DOWN-LO-MAIL: SIGNING OFF…)


THE DOWN-LO CONTEST
Hope all of you that entered had fun scouring the Down-Lo archives for the answers. Ah, who am I kidding? That probably sucked. For those that are curious, here are the answers to all of the questions:

Down-Lo Contest Questionnaire

1. In what state do I live?
New Jersey

2. What drug was I almost tricked into taking via a radio ad?
Zoloft

3. What is the name of my favorite RPG (not series, but single game)?
Panzer Dragoon Saga or Shining Force II (both are considered correct)

4. Who was the first guest in the Down-Lo Spotlight?
Chris Hyatte

5. Who was the only female guest to appear in the Down-Lo Spotlight?
Claire Flynn Boyle

6. What 411 Music columnist was the inspiration for the Down-Lo Console Compatibility Quiz?
Jeff Modzelewski

7. What is the title of the first rumor I’ve ever told in the Down-Lo?
REACH FOR THE SKIES

8. In what column did I first introduce the 411 Games Quote of The Week? (I need the column’s date only.)
12.03.02

9. In the 2-Part Special Edition of 411 Games Rumor Down-Lo, who won the Lo-Down! Award for 411 WRESTLING: BEST COLUMN? (I need the name of the writer & title of his or her column.)
(The Smarks News-Center!) ~ JAY BOWER

10. Who are the official sponsors of the 411 Games Rumor Down-Lo (as said by myself)?
Sifl and Olly

Tough quiz. Quite a few of you guys got nine out of ten, which ain’t bad. Only one of you got all ten questions right, though. When it was all said and done, Down-Lo Devotee “greydragon” walked away with the prize of Sega Smash Pack: Volume 1 for Sega Dreamcast and Tonight In This Very Ring by the man himself, Scott Keith.

Here’s the thing about my contests though. I NEVER just give away what I say I’m going to give away. What’s the fun in that? There’s always an extra-added surprise that I don’t tell about until the contest winner is announced. So what am I doing this time? Well, I’m not sure if I can pull it off, but let me bother Scott Keith for a second. Maybe he’d do me a favor…

(DOWN-LOADING: SCOTT KEITH / 411 WRESTLING)
Statistics:
TV Reporter for 411 Wrestling
The SmarkDown Rant TV Report
The Smark Raw Rant TV Report
2002 Lo-Down! Awards 411 WRESTLING: BEST TV REPORTER
2002 Lo-Down! Awards 411 MOVIES: BEST DVD REVIEWER
Avid Gamer

Bebito: Um, hey Scott! Sorry to bother you, but ah… how you doing!?
Scott Keith: Hard at work on the next book, as a matter of fact. By the time you read this, I may have almost planned out what CD I’m going to listen to while trying to figure out how the heck I’m gonna start this thing! Gotta start somewhere…

Bebito: Might I suggest 50 Cent’s new CD? It’s the bomb dang diggady baby! Woo-Yeah!
Scott Keith: …

Bebito: Right. So, err… I know this is sort of short notice and all but, would you mind signing a copy of your new book for the winner of this contest that I have going? The guy’s name is greydragon and he worked super hard to win the thing.
Scott Keith: Sure, although I usually sign autographed copies with “If you bought this off E-Bay, it’s stolen and will self-destruct in five minutes” so be warned in advance. Oh, and my signature tends to look like someone had an epilectic seizure while holding a pen, so don’t expect penmanship to be a priority. Other than that, happy to help.

Bebito: Thanks bro. Appreciate it. Wish ya the best on your next book.

Ok, grey. I hope you enjoy your Sega Smash Pack: Volume 1 and your shiny new copy of Tonight In This Very Ring signed by Scott Keith himself. You earned it. This makes you ineligible for the next two contests, but I doubt you care as of now. As for the rest of you that didn’t win, don’t sweat it. There’ll be tons more Down-Lo Contests in the future. So keep your eyes open right here.


THE DLV OF THE WEEK
Sorry, no Down-Lo Video this time. Yes, I know. I’m slacking off after only one week but I’m keeping it short this column because believe it or not, I have a life. It’s my six-month anniversary with Bella so I want to spend all the time humanly possibly with her. Hopefully all of you get some too within the next week. Until then, peace. I’m out.

(411 DOWN-LO OFFLINE: END TRANSMISSION…)